hmm let's see...horrible binge late last night when i came home. it's like i expect them now and feel them coming on and jsut don't care. i knew what i was doing and continued filling myself with the usual peanut butter and carb combination. this is so frustrating it's like i cant get enough. woke up full...but continued the i dont care attitude and took myself to get a fattening breakfast i never have and after that downed 5 reeses. i feel stuffed now and tired. i keep telling myself i am going to be normal and eat normal amounts when i want to but i feel like it's impossible right now. i feel like i def gained this time. my mom told me yesterday one of my dr's quesioned if i was bulimic or had an exercising disorder and that was my problems...which isnt...which is even more frustrating bc i am self-concious ppl look at me and think that often.
i completely identify with you... like how i feel it coming on and just dont care... and i just continue even though i know how bad it is. I guess we just have to hang in there... are you seeing a therapist? It's great that you report about your binges here - I havent been able to do that much because I'm so embarrassed to even acknowledge it online. I'm here if you ever want to chat! Love and hugs,
~FS xoxox
fluteserenity