im back.and it was okay... i was …
im back.and it was okay... i was high the whole time and i still had panic attacks and was nervous..... and im really …
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Hey everyone thanks for all your caring messages and comments.. well the new job is going well... lol I have heat burns (the burn you get when part of your body is exposed air that is hot for an extended period of time...) on my hands now... the pain is dying down now... I was doing ok earlier this week but the last day and a half now I have been slipping into a depression... and I don't know why... I think its might be from not hanging with people my age for so long... lol and not really feeling loved... but yeah I know you all care about me... but there's that certain kind of love that I wish I had in my life thats just not there... and really I don't think there is much if anything I can do about that... like really who could love someone like me... I'm ugly... lately more than ever I've also been thinking about using... and going out and getting plastered... and well there is this one girl that I like... but yeah she has a boy friend that I've been dreaming up different ways of killing him... but yeah... even if he wasn't in the picture I don't think she would like me... like look at me I'm just so fucking ugly I need to get like plastic surgery or something... but yeah I have to go get some sleep now so I will post again another time... goodnight everyone...
UPDATED GOALS
to live to 21
Progress 35%
Encouragements: 0
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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling depressed again Darkwolf! Sometimes it seems like a down will follow up a sudden high in your life; that's what happens to me when I try to better myself. I start to feel the stress of it, then try everything to numb myself through the process. Hope you can hang in there..
Also, it is tough feeling so alone and like you're not good enough for anyone! But you shouldn't try dealing with those thoughts all alone imo. Talk about it to your doctor or therapist if you have one, otherwise it might be hard for you to deal with the stresses and demands of your new job.
All the best.
rever