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Journal Entry for August 15, 2007 Mood
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
SmileWell I'm not as depressed and i have some hope returning which is a good sign. as far as my problems go well there still there but at least now i can see a small lite at the end of this long tunnel called life that i am in. it just blows my mind that there are so many mean cruel people with no compassion for us sick people. i guess in my las life i didnt learn enuff lessons so i'm back here. i hope i dont have to come back here for another life unless its filled with happiness....at least happiness part of the time. i cant remember when i was last happy in this lifetime. it seems it started from day one for me but i'm a strong person and i keep on goin just like that battery that never quits. whatever it is....fibro fog is so bad lately...oh energizer thats it!! well i wish everyone happines peace and love and above all a few painless days wouldnt hurt would it? love and peace lorial
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  1. Jeanna

    Fibro fog, curse and blessing....


    Jeanna

Journal Entry for July 24, 2007 Mood
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
i find it so hard to go on with this life filled with stress and pain. why do we have to suffer so and others have all the good things in life? my son is homeless and i cant help him...i feel helpless and frustated...i can feel his pain. hes sick..i thnk he has fibro or a autoiimmune illlness like me...hes goin to the dr soon as soon as his health insurance starts. every day is a struggle for him to work and then sleep in the car while he is so sick. i dont know what to do anymore. I'm on the edge. please pray for us. hes talking about the S word and if that happens i will follow him. hes all i have in this world..no one else
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  1. Phoenix2001

    You know everyone's life is filled with stress and pain....Dave's son is in jail for "probation violations" but no one will tell us why he was on probation in the first place. The son has 3 kids and the 5 of them were sleeping in the car because they were using their welfare money to buy drugs instead of paying the rent, gas, electric, food for the kids, they took the kids to pawn shops and convinced them that they wanted to sell their stuff so the family could eat...we were wondering why they needed a new Nintendo or X-Box every year. Both the mom and Dad smoke crystal meth.and take vicodin..and the father is an alcoholic with at least 4 DUIs...he has been 5150'd at least twice for attempted suicide...The kids were placed in foster care...so we got them out and they lived with us for 6 weeks...4 weeks into it the parents showed up in a nice brand new BMW (I thought they had no $???) and the kids all knew they were coming but we had no idea....the parents were totally high on crank when they got here so Dave wouldn't allow visitation...and of course the kids were pissed at us....the next day he did allow visitation...and since they returned the kids at the appionted time..he allowed overnight visitation. We think the parents thought we would let them move in...which wasn't going to happen...as soon as they figured this out they turned the kids against us...so they told the court investigator that they would rather live in foster care...because their parents told them that if they said this..they could live with their parents again...not so...they were split up and placed in foster care...evidentally they got out and are living with their maternal grandmother...but nobody tells us anything...we just found out...haven't seen them since mid Dec 2005...So there is worse shit out there...there is a homeless man that I bring food to alot...and I am kinda worried because I haven't seen him in awhile...he doesn't even have a car to sleep in...his son died..and his wife thought it was her fault..which it wasn't...so she hanged herself...he couldn'tdeal..and ended up on the street...someone stole his blankets...he tried to go to a shelter once...but he had an epileptic fit...and they threw him out.
    If you think that your son may be suicidal...get him 5150d or whatever the equivlent is in your state...a 72 hour hold (lock down in a mental facility) they usually do a psychiatric evaluation during that time period. After 72 hours you have to go back to court if it needs to be there longer...the grounds are danger to yourself or others...this doesn't have to be a tragedy...there are things that you can do to help...If you aren't sure yourself...call adult protective services in your area...they should be able to help you out


    Phoenix2001

  2. Jeanna

    Sometimes it seems the buddhists were right, life is defined by suffering. If i were there, I would do what I can. Please know i will pray and send the power of my positive thoughts to fix your and your son's problems....but know, I have lived in my car and done the same things. And I have come out of that dark place and am now married and own a house. There is hope.


    Jeanna

  3. spiritual female

    I understand.....I feel same way some days....but I try not to ask - why me? - it doesn't help me. I, too, have only one son having issues - on his own w/ AhDD & LD and a girl who's manipulating him.......I agree, he's all I have, so if something happened to him ????? I pray for good things for all of us.....blessings xoxox


    spiritual female

  4. spiritual female

    I understand.....I feel same way some days....but I try not to ask - why me? - it doesn't help me. I, too, have only one son having issues - on his own w/ AhDD & LD and a girl who's manipulating him.......I agree, he's all I have, so if something happened to him ????? I pray for good things for all of us.....blessings xoxox


    spiritual female

Journal Entry for March 17, 2007 Mood
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Today for the first time in sayyy 10 yrs i have hope for my life to take a turn for the best...have always wanted peace and serenity in my life but due to circumstancesf was not able to have that..it feels so good to actually have that feelin of hope..i cant tell u how relieved i am...geez all i want is to be sick in peace..i know life has its ups and downs but mine has been downs for a long time now and i'm not talkin about my health. i can deal with being sick ..i just cant deal with the every day knawing stress i have had for years. i think that i will have a break in that sooon. i pray that i do.. its snowing again...we just got 6 or more inches overnite and its snowing again. oh well my tires on the car are awful so i guess i am housed for another day. thats ok ....would rather stay home and relax...everyone pulls me in every which way...every direction and its nice just to sit and relax and say no for a change. thats something that i have to learn how to do.its hard when all your life u have been a people pleaser...so hard to change...even harder when u are forced to chnge becuz you got sick. i lost everything when i got sick,,my apt. my pets u name it i lost it...no i'm not depressed..just rambling on. my bf just doesnt understand anything and i feel lonely. whats the sense of bein in a relationship if you are still lonely...would be better off without one...thank god we dont live together anymore...wow what a story...wont get into that now....
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Past Entries

March 2007
Mood Wednesday, 3/14

January 2007
Mood Friday, 1/26

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