JTGPP's Journal

sweet dreams Mood

Monday, April 28, 2008

I have two brief comments. First, I had a dream. It involved the EX and Mike and something going on with her and her working schedule. I think the dream was prompted by me thinking last night, what's going to happen during the summer when the kids are off of school. Is it goign to be my responsibility to see to it, they have things to do? Probably.

So, my dream, we argued I said it appears the kids would be best in my care full time and you can see them whenever you want to, I just should have full custody. She agreed. I told her in my dream I'd have my atty. draft a document the next day. It was very real. I was happy.

Anyway, I was thinking this morning, how my ex told her grandmother last night that she had to get up at 5:30am to go to work by 6, but told me she was going in at 9. I imagine whatever she did, who really cares.

But, I was thinking. Gee. If Mike has to become mr. mom and babysit my kids on a regular basis, I'd imagine that's going to cramp his thinking of the alone honeymoon he and my ex have had for this last year. So, I say bring it on.

It sucks I can't always be around for my kids, but why the hell not let him take on that responsibility? He wants my ex as his wife. She comes as a package. So there. That's it.

I HATE the fact that I think about what's going on in my kids' lives at night (as far as the BAD parent they have to deal with), then dream of things, then obviously think of them enough to make a journal entry about it.

It is simply frustrating to continually, daily have some form of drama to deal with. I just have to keep remembering what brought me here in the first place and just deal w/it. Such is life I suppose. Never goign to change but I am sure at some point in time, the dust will settle a bit, and I'll be able to focus on other more important items, like just living.

Hug JTGPP

Send to a Friend

Comments

I feel for you, and share some of the same troubles. I keep thinking - OK - if I just find peace with *this*, then all will be well, and then it takes on another dimension or grows in some strange way. I guess it may be that what it means to be a parent is changing for us in ways we are struggling to accept. Hugs and prayers... for peace and acceptance for both of us, and all of the other single parents hurting right now.

riverwalker
HUGS!!!!!!! I know what you mean about constantly thinking about what's going on. Unfortunately that's part of the nature of this beast. I just wish I didn't have to deal with ex ever again, but then I wouldn't have my wonderful munchkins in my life. You are such a great father, JT and they will ALWAYS treasure that in their hearts.

I hate dreaming about ex too. I haven't done that for a while but it's disturbing...LOL

MaeIsab
Praying your teenage acting ex gets a clue, hang in there, you are still the man.

Wick
Just keep being YOU...it'll all pay off...I promise.

HurtinginTX
I had a dream again last night too. Thank goodness she wasn't in it, bad enough that he was. Things will workout. It is a pain that our brains still keep trying to make sense of everything when we are trying to just rest. LOL

phoenix7
Don't ya just wish there was an "OFF" button we push when these thoughts enter our heads and dreams? How bout inventing something...then you will be a very rich man! Keep on living the good life!

aguyandadog