amberleah's Journal

When you KNOW you're not trusted..... Mood

Monday, July 21, 2008

Husb. friend that is temp. living w/us goes to his brother's house and sometimes will do drugs(Coke, ecstacy, crack). He hasn't brought any to our house. Husb was ready to tell him to hit the road. Friend is being honest about what he does and I believe everyone needs a second chance. So we had a talk w/him, last chance dude or you will have to find a place to live. He was in jail w/husb. for drugs so we're keeping a close eye on him. He's a nice guy and is working and going to be giving us some money each week.

Before we talked to "friend", husb. and I were talking. The job husb. getting will be a 2nd shift job 3pm-11pm. During our conversation husb. told me that IF "friend" or anyone else was to bring drugs into the house while he wasn't there-he KNEW I would do some. WTF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I've been stewing on this ALL weekend. I was SO HURT when he said that. I hate to say this but I cried, yes I cried. I can't believe he would think SO LITTLE of me like that! On Aug. 10th, next month, I will be 2 years clean from crack cocaine. I quit on my own, he had to go to jail to quit. Also, husb. about a month after he came home from jail, got with old friends and did coke-BOUGHT it with MY MONEY, stayed up all night snorting the shit. AND HE THINKS I WOULD DO ANYTHING PUT IN FRONT OF ME?!?!?!?!?! JERK!!! I didn't partake when HE was doing it in the next room!

OK I'M GOING TO YELL SOME OBSCENITIES NOW!!! @*&$^(#&$@#^$%#$ AND )(*&$#()*$&@)(#*& AND

UPDATED GOALS

quit drinking

Progress 0%

Encouragements: 2

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Comments

I forgot to finish my cuss fest: @#$^@#*^$ AND (*@#$&(@*#&$!!!!!!!!!
Better now, but still hurt. It won't even do any good to try to talk to him about it-he already has his mind made up.

amberleah
YOU NEED TO JOIN ANGER RANT AND VENTING WILL HELP, AND YOU GO GIRL AUG 10TH IS MY BDAY KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND IF HUBBY DONT THINK HE CAN TRUST YOU IS PROBABLY CUZ HE CANT TRUST HIMSELF "SHOW HIM"!!!

DebyDavis
you know what, sweetheart, i think your husband is more afraid for himself than he is afraid for you. sounds like he's projecting. you guys be careful. this is a very slippery slope. i've been there and done that.

itsmylife
I think you're both right. I'm pretty sure he doesn't trust himself. I believe he has projected to me alot in the last 2 years. It's different stuff in different situations.
Thanks for food for thought!

amberleah