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Jiminator's Journal

Old Age

Thursday, September 4, 2008 | A Positive story

To all my friends here on Ds.Org, oh what a gift you have all turned out to be!

I am sending to my young friends so that they will know how I feel. BECAUSE this is truly something that came straight from the heart, these are truly my feelings..............Old Age, I decided, is a gift I am now, probably for the first time in my
life, the person I have always wanted to be, on the inside. Oh, not my body! I sometime
despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, the hair loss, the limb loss, the pain, oh the pain, and the inability to do the outdoor things that I love dearly.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who
looks like my Father!, but I don't agonize over those things for long.I would
never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less
gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself,
and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself
for eating that extra cookie, or fo r not making my bed, or for buying that
silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.
I'am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many
dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great
freedom that comes with aging.Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on
the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to
those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep
over a lost love .. I will.to continue to grieve a father I loved so dearly for so many years, I will continue to do so. I would walk the beach in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body, and would dive into the waves with abandon if I
choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set .They, too, will get old. I know I am often times forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well
forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things . Sure, over
the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a
loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets
hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and
compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never
know the joy of being imperfect.I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into
deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died
before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be
positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.I've even earned the right to be wrong. I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been,or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (If I feel like it)! MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON
YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
________________________________________

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Comments

:) you aren't old yet silly, you aren't even as old as my dad! But i like this entry. This is the you I saw from the beginning, the you I wanted the world to see. Wise and loving, sweet and funny. But don't stop being the cranky old man completely, either. you crack me up when you wear that hat! Love you Jim!!

beingmyself
BEAUTIFUL JIM JUST BEAUTIFUL... YOU GOT TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE.......

Helyn
Aww Jim. You make me love you. :)

And you make me feel okay about growing up, too. That's no easy task. But I've also gotta say, my dad is a good eleven years older than you. I just hope he'll be this content eventually.

Thanks for brightening up my night! I'm stealing your last sentence for my profile. :)

Love, Steffy

Steffycakes
Jim~ you are so amazing,,,I love you and love to read the things you write. You are such an inspiration to all.Thank you for sharing,love and hugs,Deb

Deb115
My sentiments exactly...you might like the poem Pied Beauty..the words are beautiful...like wrinkles and wearing hats and crushed velvet ....like discovering I am not weird for op shopping and being careful with money ...merely a "frugalista" kind of like a fashionista but more sensible. Love Light and Peace - earthwalker

earthwalker
FRIENDS ARE THAT.... JUST FRIENDS, FOREVER.

kazual
thank you for all the comments, I never dreamed it would even be read. Jim

Jiminator
hi there Jim, this was beautiful, just got back on line today, I sure hope is well with you.

zazasgranny
Smiles.

happychi

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sleep disorder Mood

Monday, September 1, 2008

Falling asleep at the keyboard, and other times, has seemed to adjusted itself and I am able to focus much better, so it is safe to say that the problem has gone away.

I do have times, when I hide under the blanket at the recliner, and sleep for 12 to 24 hours, and only stir for the phone, or reminder dings on the computer. I was having a problem eating, going for days without food, but now I seem to be hungry all the time, hehe. It must have been the medication and needing a period to adjust to them, damn I wish doctors would emphasize to one more what kinds of adjustment problems that you are going to be facing, instead of just letting you find out on your own.

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Isn't it nice of the doctors not to warn you about crap like that? You must be doing better, your spelling and grammer are spot-on today! I'd love to sleep 12 solid hours, how do people do that without having to pee? I used to be able to do it..I must be getting old! I'm so glad you are doing better, honey, I won't be so worried now all the time. Why the down-grade to a yellow face, though? you are doing better, you've got an adorable four legged pal, plus an adorable two legged one over here in MA. I want my Jim happy!! Jim happy makes me happy!
Love you, K

beingmyself
GLAD THINGS ARE LOOKING UP FOR YOU!HUGS HELYN

Helyn
This may be a late comment, but I'm glad things are improving a bit!

Way to go, Jim! :D

Steffycakes

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Journal Entry for August 19, 2008 Mood

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

i lied to myself while I was on the toilet, so I apparently am losing ground,

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Not nice to ever lie to yourself,but especially not there!!!What did you lie about? What happen to your picture my friend?? No pic of Jim?? Where oh where did my Jim go??lotsof hugs for you,Deb

Deb115
Please take care of yourself. Which means very likely seeing a dr. I hope you feel better soon. I pray your body embraces healing. amen

happychi
I lie to myself on the toilet often. If you are going to lie to yourself about something, what better place is there??

beingmyself