AnniemalChang's Journal

Moving home to LA in a few days...haven't slept a decent wink since I found out the news. My parents' home was robbed while they were out of the country and all signs point to our sole employee for the home business, who also happens to be my alcoholic friend, Ryan. Need I say, ex-friend...because friends don't fuck with other friends' parents, families, and home lives.

Leaving the beautiful city of San Francisco for the dreary humdrum of LA County...I want to be better, fitter, wiser about this move home (again). I need to get over my self-loathing of LA and all the dipshits that populate the area. I need to streamline the business and never trust anyone again and make it to grad school so I am constantly learning and bettering myself, and so that my parents can be proud of me again. They are so disappointed in my inability to evaluate and judge people. It was my decision to hire Ryan to work for my dad. It was my decision to go down to LA in November with my friend Elea, who is also a suspect in the thievery. There are so many things wrong with this situation and after my bigass fight with my mom last night on the phone, my moving home is not going to make things any better, at least not immediately. The road home is tough, she reminds me. And the expectations, pressures, and scathing criticism, is that much higher.

I used to pride myself in being able to start over, to be a change agent, to be resilient and adapt to new situations adeptly. This time around, I'm slow to react. My mind is numb, my heart cold, after being hurt by those I thought were closest to me and my family. My parents feel violated as hell. I am livid at the thought of my so-called friends pilfering from my parents' home. I am moving home to stake my claim, protect my parents, and fend off unwanted fuckheads who think they can take advantage.