jobari's Journal

My days lately have been so full that its a little overwhelming! :)  Today was good too.  I started early and did my grocery shopping.  Then it was on to the gym. On Mondays and Thursdays I do my long workout (weights and cardio) so that took awhile.  Afterwards I had lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon studying.  Tonight I went to an ornament party that was given by a longtime friend.  Every year she holds this ornament swap and invites about 30 of the chorus members that I used to sing with.  Last year I didn't get to go so it had been 2 years since I had seen many of them.  It was sooo good to see them and to laugh again.  My cheeks hurt from smiling so much!  Many of them asked me when I was coming back to sing with them but I couldn't give them an answer.  I still haven't made that decision to go back.  I loved singing and performing and it was wonderful to have such strong bonds with friends but I'm still troubled by some of the memories that came with being a part of the chorus.  When my ex left he told me that a major part in his decision was based on the fact that I spent alot of time singing and not with him.  I know that his saying that was an excuse for him to leave but I still wonder if things would have been different if I had been home more.  The other thing that I struggle with is the loss of my friend Susi.  Susi and I joined the chorus at the same time and became very good friends.  We spent countless hours and several years singing together both in the chorus and in a quartet.  Her sudden death last year has taken its toll on me and I have a hard time imagining myself singing again without her there.  So as far as going back I still don't know.....I don't have to make a decision until I'm ready to.  But tonight was wonderful.  I had a great time and I'm very glad that I went.

Well, its late and tomorrow the routine starts all over....

Goodnight my friends,

Joanna