janeygirl's Journal

Two nights ago, my sister emailed me to say that my real dad is dying. I havent been able to cry, cause my face gets so puffy, and I have different shifts all week. I cant go to work looking like that. I work with the public. I would never get the red out of my eyes in time for work.

so, I am carrying a burden, and trying to give it to God. But I still want to cry.

He was a mean father, and husband to my mom, but over the years, I have tried to stay friendly with him. We moved away from him when I was young. I think I have been waiting for him to say he cares about us five kids.

My sister is taking me to see him early September, its going to be a hard visit.

I am not my usual happy self, not at home, or at work. Just quiet. I know this is normal, but its awful having this big burden with me.

I guess I have to make a concious effort to give it to the Lord. And take time to cry soon. I dont have a day off until Saturday, guess its going to have to do. I have a meeting Saturday night, and then have to get up at 4:30 sunday morning to work. ack.

I guess we do what we have to do.

Its a hot sunny day again today, we were supposed to get rain yesterday, but all we got was a very wild wind. it was lovely, but a bit scary with the tall trees behind our house bending, and clacking together. lol.

I am getting better at making french fries. oh woot. lol. my boss gave me a ticket for a free meal yesterday cause when we are on fries, we have to be a gopher, go do this, go do that. lol. its a fun shift. you never know which work station you will be at. and i like the running around.

I think tommorrow is a 5:30 morning shift too, yay, its nice cause i get the whole afternoon at home, to play in the pool. lol. I shouldnt though, my face is getting too tanned. I really dont need any more wrinkles. lol.....but I will. ha ha

i hope everyone has a beautiful day.

xo