thehurtsoldier's Journal

i dont know where to start with this. when i came back from iraq the way that i did i never expected to see my wife december in the room when i woke up. it was the answer to all my prayers. i have asked god to bring my family back to me and to help me to be a better father and husband. and for the month that my wife was there with me i got tickets for the kids and her mom and denis to come see us. that was a great thing because i got to see my beautiful daughters. time went by and they had to go back but i loved to see them. later that month december found out that she wouldnt be able to keep up in her class. so that caused some stress. i wish that i could have done something but there was nothing that i could do for her. she lashed out at  me and told me that she didnt need anything from me. and then went home. i tried to figure out what went so wrong.but it just happened to be that she was mad because she got out of the class because she was with me in dc. i got to kansas and she likes that im here but i dont like the fact that im not with my family that i have to talk to all them on the phone. i want my baby to be by my side. and she doesnt know what she wants. it is frustraiting to go through all this and not know what im going to come out with. i love her and hope that she comes back to me and loves me too. it is just so hard to know what she is doing. without my family i am going to be to depressed to go on. i dont want to live without my kids and my wife. i dont know if i can do it all. i hope that it doesnt come to that but im not going to be able to do this anymore without them. oh well lifes a bitch. till next time.