joolz218's Journal

Well, here I am, almost six in the morning and can't sleep for crap! Went to bed about 1 and woke up at 5...pretty silly for a Saturday...but getting ready to start re-organizing my bathroom closet and try to get some chores done before my son gets home later today. The ex switched days on me again, always about what is convenient for him, and now I have limited time on which to spend doing chores. But that is okay because tomorrow is supposed to be a beautiful day and I'm going to take my son to the cider mill, get some apples, make some pies, carve some pumpkins and spend as much of the day outside enjoying a warm October Sunday as I can.

So I mentioned that my divorce is finally final! I am so excited about that. What is strange, though, is how my husband is acting....he has been saying for months how he knows we were meant to be together, he loves me, blah blah blah....all this while living with his first ex-wife in our marital home. He even sent me a text a couple weeks ago asking if I wanted to get hitched! Is this man crazy??? I don't understand. I have told him over and over again that I would never trust him again. I would never feel comfortable around his family again and I have no desire to ever be with him again. I've tried being a bitch, I've tried completely ignoring his comments, his little gestures, like putting wedding pictures on my nightstand or notes in my car...I truly feel that he just doesn't want anyone else to have me and is trying to string me along in some weird, possessive kind of way.... I am so frustrated with this. I do not understand his twisted mentality. And I don't think it has much to do with love because if he truly loved me, how could he move his ex-wife in our house and live with her for the last year and a half? And it started while we were supposedly trying to work things out. I don't know if he thinks I'm stupid, or what, but why on earth would I go back to him after all that, not to mention the lies and infidelity while we were really together and in the same home.....I don't understand...

I must get to work on this dark and crisp Saturday morning...can't sit here typing away too long, too many things to accomplish today! Hope everyone has an awesome day!!!