mookids4's Journal

Here it is Christmas Even and I'm having a pity-party.  It has been over a year since my husband walked out on his family of 25 years, yet it feels just like yesterday.   Being alone, or at least feeling that way, is awful.  I have done absolutely nothing today except lay around and cry.  Not crying because HE left, but because of all of the family gatherings that I am no longer included in.  He has made it so bad, that I don't even want to spend the evening with my stepson and grandsons.  The kids all clam up about their father, yet it wonder about their relationships all the time.  My two youngest boys and I were suppose to go to a friends house last night for dinner, and it had to be cancelled because their father wanted to have Christmas with them at my stepsons.  So needless to say, I sat home moping!  They haven't offered a word about what took place, what was say, or anything and I don't feel I have the right to ask. They are grown children and what happens with them and their father is their business.

What makes everything worse is that he is still with the woman he left me for.  And to top that they have moved within 3 miles of my home.  They use to be 1.5 hrs. away.  And believe me this is a one grocery store town.  I'm bound to run into them.  I feel like a prisoner in my own home.  You see this is his birthplace, not mine.  I feel as thought to keep my sanity I need to relocate.  But how does one do that after being her 30+ years.

Thanks for letting me vent.  I'm just feeling sorry for myself instead of being grateful for what I do have.