Join Now
I'm a bit confused folks and would like to know what others have done about their SA and how far you guys took it to (authority etc...).
I am studying counselling and am due to start a 2 year Diploma course, well I had a really trying year since doing the course and all sorts of emotions have been stirred since then unbelievable.
Well during this time I started to see a counsellor who told me I am depressed, I am an abusive alcholic and I have OCD and also am suffering PTS.
I was shocked and didnt quite know what to make of it all then she told me that there was nothing I could do about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my Uncle because he is no longer here but my brother is and she said to speak to the social services about this and they will decide whether he needs to go on the sex offenders list even though this happened like 28 yrs ago and she said I didnt have to give my name and that they possibly wouldnt put him on there.
I was horrified and didnt know what to do I know she's right but this was my second meeting with her and I stopped going after that.
Like I said I am due to go back in Sept to college and I think it's gonna get deeper. I suppose I'm a little scared of that prospect.
Comments
DON't be scared, All you can do is talk about and LET YOUR BROTHER KNOW TOO, LET HIM BE SCARED SHITLESS about the possibilities and reality about what he did. ALL ABUSERS NEED TO KNOW THE CONSEQUENSES of their actions (so many never get any.) BUT MY MOTTO NOW IS ... SPEAK UP AND SPEAK OUT LOUD. YOU GO GIRL. AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! hugs!
RonaleeC
Thank you for your words of support and I know its right too.
bigbrown
Oh gosh, I can just imagine how terrifying it must have been to consider laying charges against your brother. Have you confronted him at all? I can't do so with my brother because he's dead. I did indirectly tell him once that "I forgive the person who molested me as a kid," meaning him, but I was too afraid to speak the entire truth. I was afraid to name it. I wish I had the opportunity to confront him openly now. I would have liked him to know how much his actions traumatized me as a child. I would have liked to give him the opportunity to apologise for it.
I honestly don't know if I could have had him charged with a crime. In many ways, he was a child himself. He was six years older than me and although he was a teenager when the abuse began, he wasn't mature enough to understand the consequences of his actions. Oh, he knew it was wrong, but not how devastating it would be to me. Anyhow, I probably am making excuses for him, trying to minimize how bad it all was. I don't want to see him as a monster. He was my brother and I loved him. He was also sick and was terribly unhappy in his life. He died a broken man.
I think that once you open Pandora's Box bigbrown, it's almost impossible to close that lid. More and more will come up for you. But, don't let anyone push you into doing something you're not comfortable with. If you don't want to lay charges, don't. It's always something you can do down the road if you decide to.
Did you get another therapist?
I'm a recovering alcoholic, too, btw. I drank to forget, to dull the pain. It all spilled out when I got sober. How are you doing with that?
We're survivors, you and I. We will be OK. We'll continue to take our power back and be the women we were supposed to be, before our innocence was taken from us. *hug*
bato
Thank you for your wise words I will take note. I told my mother and father what had happened as it was a one of incident for me and my father spoke to my brother. So I buried it I think I havent dealt with at all. But I did deal with the one of incident with my uncle this was before my brother and it was around the same time.
I still drink most nights not heavily but I think I am relying on it as I find it hard not to have a drink if I left it one night then I would definently drink the next night a bad habit.
An alocholic told me that it is the co-dependancy that can make you an alcholic and behaviour not necessarily how much you drink.
There is some truth in there eh. Thanks again x
bigbrown