snyder30's Journal

okay last month was a mess...spring break Hubby starts to get chest pains..doctors offices day and night..stays home a week..just so happens he stays home the week of spring break..so here I am careing for him in bed and the two kids..stuck in the house...my son goes back to school and he gets bites from fire ants..sabo is allergic to bees and ant bites..soo here I spend the weekend at the hospital...son comes home with a letter saying two children died at his school..I just sent a card to the family..I didnt ask who they where just sent my prayers and love..little did I know that it was my best friend from high schools children who died..on top of that..they are in the same school as my son..and that my son knew the youngest of the two..today I called a friend who has two autisic children and we talk once a month..I dont have caller id or voice mail on my phone so I didnt know she was trying to call me and let me know they where my best friends kids..I heard about this on the news and I just prayed for the family..but now that it hit a diffrent key of closeness to me my heart is broken in a thousand pieces..I cant expalin how I feel but its not a good feeling..both boys who died had autism..even before my son was bornn I was already helping and seeing what this was..almost like it was a test for me..I loved these boys very much and seen them grow..the last time I saw the boys they where one and four...the last time I talke to Mary we fought..and I hope that she can put what was said between us a side just for this one moment when I go see her..I still love her..I remember takeing her food when she was pregant with her first child..I am at ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

heres the link...

http://www.click2houston.com/video/15567811/index.html

if I would have seen this news channle that day I would have known..but with two kids myself autism and a develpmental delay..its hard to sit and watch the news..on top of that it was no more then five minute drive from my house where she was staying...I am broken right now broken..

wow it feels like it was just last month we where all doing christmas..well its a new month and bills have to be paid taxes have to be done and we are so looking forward to this summer..Spring break is comeing up..I am sure we are all wondering what we are so going to do to keep these guys busy and ready to go back to school in about a week or so..I am going to practice on writing with sabo and ally..Sabo is starting to write by himself letters and numbers..Ii am so happy..I just want it to be a fun thing..I need to make this letter writing fun or he will so not do it..ally on the other hand likes to do whatever big brother is doing so she will be there with us trying to write..my son has the whole abc's down..he knows each one and knows the sounds they make..this is the first sign of time to get reading..wish me luck..hubby is working hard on helping me more..I always tell myself he didnt have a dad and mom was a drunk who left him where-ever so she could go party..we are learning togthere how to be better parents and partners..my mother in law is starting to get in the habit of leaveing my nephew Justin here with us every friday..which isnt bad my son ask for him by name ever friday and sunday..sunday is grandma day..only bad thing is that my mother in law is getting back into going out to much and leaveing justin just about anywhere..hurts me..last night he was here with us and left today at one and she left him at a friends at two..she spent one hour with him..I feel for this kid...My hubby and me where suppose to have him with us right now but she butted in and took him from under us..are hands where tied at that moment so we let it go..so much has happen to him since then that I would not know how to handle this poor kid now..rapped at the apt's he use to live in by the sitters son..spanked black and blue by his aunt and uncle in fl..mind you my husbands real sister and brother in law did this to this poor kid..and on top of that he is adhd..on meds to cope with his daily hyperness and meds to sleep..still love the kid like crazy but he needs so much more then we can give him at this time..my daughter is on me so I will write later