cpendo81's Journal

So this is the frist time I have done this and I am feeling horrible at this time in my life!!  I just had sugery to remove an eptopic pregnancy and unfortunatly they had to remove my tube with it:(  I am so scared of the thought of not having any children I feel so MAD that this is happening to me.  I now have to do IVF again and I am scared and just thinking what if it never works then what?  I have always wanted to be a mom and I feel that it will never happen.  I hate this *#*#*# disease and I wish I would have never ever gotten it!!!!!!!!!!  I feel alone because the pain emotionally is worse then the pain you feel from the disease and no one can understand unless they are going through it.  It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just pray that one day the gift of life I will give.  I hope that anyone that is going through this can read this and know you are not alone:)  This has to be one of the hardest times of my life I am just wishing that God hears me and listens.