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I am doing better today. I have gone back to work and feel good (thank God). I am planning on doing IVF at the end of the year or maybe in the summer. Im excited but scared at the same time. I have done IVF a couple of times so I know it can be very emotional and scary. I just really want to be a mom and I feel that if Im not I will be less of a women. I know that sounds stupid but anyone that is going through this understands and feels the furstration that I feel. I sometimes feel like just breaking down and crying because it is so hard to understand that my dream may not come true:( I sometimes loss hope and just want to give up but something inside me doesnt let me. I sometimes wish I would just give up so I can move on with my life! It is just so HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the long run I just dont want to have any regrets thats way I dont quit. The hope of one day having a baby in my arms to call mine will be the greatest happiness for me!!!! Wish me luck and anyone that is going through this dont give up and try as hard as you can because I really believe it is possible:)
I have lost 4pounds I am so happy
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So this is the frist time I have done this and I am feeling horrible at this time in my life!! I just had sugery to remove an eptopic pregnancy and unfortunatly they had to remove my tube with it:( I am so scared of the thought of not having any children I feel so MAD that this is happening to me. I now have to do IVF again and I am scared and just thinking what if it never works then what? I have always wanted to be a mom and I feel that it will never happen. I hate this *#*#*# disease and I wish I would have never ever gotten it!!!!!!!!!! I feel alone because the pain emotionally is worse then the pain you feel from the disease and no one can understand unless they are going through it. It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just pray that one day the gift of life I will give. I hope that anyone that is going through this can read this and know you are not alone:) This has to be one of the hardest times of my life I am just wishing that God hears me and listens.
