stollwizinsky's Journal

Yesterday was very difficult, I took the kids over to see my soon to be ex, and he started crying, my daughter started crying, and then my younger son started crying, it was terrible, but, I was more upset for them, than myself. I guess that's when you know that the love is gone. I will always have feelings for him, but I cannot go back to him. Today, he's sent me several text messages, and is trying to be all nicey, nice, and I honestly, just don't want to deal with it. Am I horrible for just wanting him to leave me alone? I want him to see the kids, and talk to them, but right now, I don't have much to say to him.

Well, today is May the 15th, it's a unhappy day, it is my mother's birthday, and I haven't spoken to her in almost 3 years, she walked out of all of our lives for reason's unknown to us. But, on to why I'm here, my husband of 12 years was arrested for domestic assault last week, and while he hasn't been physically abusive to me for all these years, he has controlled me, and mentally and emotionally abused me. I have decided to file for divorce, and I'm not turning back. I hope that while he's going throught this whole "I'm going to change" phase, it keeps up, however, it is not going to save our marriage. I am scared about everything, and I need as much support as possible, especially from those of you that have seen it, heard it, and lived it with me for the past 12 years.