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I've been going to a new church for the past year or so and it's been a pretty good place. I like the pastor, the kids love it there, and my ex and I decided we would both attend so the kids could have a consistent church. So this Sunday was a big new thing for us. I brought the woman I've been dating for the first time. She and the ex actually get along so it seems like a promising situation for all of us. I sat with my 'girlfriend' and my ex was sitting a few rows back.
Anyway, I open the bulletin and today's topic is ... yes (of course) ... a guest preacher on "divorce." What are the odds??? He started by saying he had a heart for divorce people and understood how "they" feel even thought he's been married 41 years. He then went on to say we should all stay with "the spouse of our youth" and that no divorce is ever one-sided. He said 2nd marriages are pretty much doomed to fail because of jealousies, money fights, etc. and that the way to avoid a 2nd divorce is to not remarry. The basic idea is that you only get one shot at happiness. At the end of the sermon he prayed for "those who are married" and "those who are looking for their partner."
When I sit through services like that it makes me wonder if I am going to be able to stay in church. I've always had a strong faith and, if anything, feel like God has been really looking out for me in the past year and a half. But churches have been a huge disappointment.
Comments
It hit me today that we're about a month short of the '1 year since the divorce' anniversary and I accomplished the things I wanted to. I got the girls to school, picked out great clothes for them, made good meals, helped them when they were sick, and I did it all on my own without calling in help from parents or friends. Now that I know I can do it alone, I feel more comfortable asking for help if I want it. At the same time, I'm in much better contact with my family, I've made a lot of new friends, and I went on a fair number of dates. There are still a lot of things I would like to be better at, but on all the key things (kids, social life, job, health) I'm pleasantly surprised at how much progress has been made.
Comments
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Well done...keep it up!!
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Awesome news. Glad to hear that you are on the up and up.
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Good for you! You are doing great!
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You ARE doing great! A long road from a year ago when you got "accidentally divorced!" I still remember all our scheming and brainstorming on how to get the STBXs to stay with us. Wow... We are both SO much better off without them. It's amazing what a difference a year can make if you are focused on the right things during that time!
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I am so glad to hear you are doing great. Keep it up!!!
Past Entries
| September 2008 |
Sunday, 9/14
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Just remember, the church may be good, but the people are imperfect and make mistakes. I have had several things happen in church that made me feel unworthy and uncomfortable about my divorce. What I learned is that as you said, God looks out for us. It is frustrating that well-meaning people often say really stupid and insensitive things. Know that what he says is not a reflection on your situation, it is just one misguided person's very limitted view point.
ShellShocked