tannkgirl's Journal

So today is a day of many changes.  I have officially moved into a new place.  This house is absoultely amazing and I am entirely comfortable here.  The last time I moved into a new place I was moving in with my boyfriend and going through med withdrawls and had a complete and utter breakdown.

 Now I am moving away from my boyfriend and into a new place and I feel completely different then the last time.  I was very afraid that things might relapse with the move but it isnt that way at all.  At least at this moment.

Me and my boyfriend broke up.  I told him we just couldnt live together now, things were not working but I wanted to try just not living together but getting to know eachther again...just to take a step back.  We moved in 5 months after we started dating anyways, it was too soon to begin with.  But he sees things very black and white and he doesnt believe in the step back and etc etc so basically we are just over.  It is painful and it has been difficult but I was not happy and I need to move on with my life.

I didnt have the freedom I wanted with him and I am not going to blame him for that, we are just different people and lead different lives and are not right for eachother.  But to see him in as much pain as he was in breaks my heart because all I want is for people to be happy.  All I have tried our entire relationship was to help him as much as I could and I know he appriciates that and he tells me he will never forget how much I have helped him and the good person I am, but now he doesnt want to see me again if he is not with me.  

But I need my life back and if I cant have that and him...then it is what it is.