tannkgirl's Journal

I've been feeling a bit anxious today.  I am not really sure why I just have felt kindof out of it, a little loopy and my anxiety levels have been higher.  Nothing too extreme or anything but enough to bother me.

I don't really know whats going on to cause this.  Maybe it is all the thinking about changing my Job.  I am considering starting a company as well and there is a lot of pressure that comes with that sort of change.  I probably think about work too much but it takes up a lot of my time.  Im a bit exhausted over it all though.

Working in the .com industry tends to be a lot of pressure and it isn't one of those industrys that you leave work and have no need to think about it.  I work too much and it consumes alot (although I have a ton of outside hobbies with my animals and such) but sometimes I am tired of the stress.  I used to be happy working as much as I do because I cared so much about the company and what we are working to achieve but ever since the aquisition and a lot of high corperate processes put in place it just isn't the same.

I am a traditional startup junkie...its what I love.  I'm just not as passionate about it anymore is what it comes down to it....oh well it is what it is.

But I would like this anxiety crap to go away because its just draining.

I've been thinking again about trying to get off my meds but the last time I did it was a complete and utter disaster for me...as my first postings would recount.   I'm just on such a low dosage, all it is doing is keeping withdrawl at bay but sometimes I feel like its going to start working backwards on me.

Oh well...I guess I just don't feel strong enuff to get off it...like it would be so easy to relapse into becoming a complete disaster and I don't know if I could handle going through that experience again.  Anyways thats all for tonight...