I have lots of dates, but the one …
I have lots of dates, but the one I really liked seems distant. Maybe thats why I like him? I need to just …
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Made it through the weekend and this one was not a great one. Seems like every one I know had plans so I spent a lot of time on my own this weekend. Thats no good because thats when the loneliness really kicks in and it becomes table for one at the pity party. So what did I do not much, the usual watched TV got on DS and listened to tunes. I did talk to a few friends but thats not really the same. I am socially limited I have never been one to get involved in things and when I do I seem to end up regreting big time. Thats just a poor excuse but I just can't seem to get excited about any thing and thats probably coming from depression and putting all of my eggs in the one basket. That basket being the stbx, I am not blaming her but we were not exactly know for doing stuff especially together. I would retreat to a video game and she would crawl into a bottle or her latest get rich scheme/hobby. I am a guy a who just hung around the house a lot I am interested in some differnet things but not enought to get involved in any thing. The big stumbling block for me is group politics, we even see it here and it just knocks me out of the game. I hate dealling with pettiness and minor issues that blown up into planet ending disasters. That concludes the some what intospective side of the journal. Just one more thing for the most part I think I am getting healed. I know for sure with out question that I am over my stbx. I have felt this way for quite some time but not I can say with 100% certainy, and I really do mean this, she means nothing to me and if she disappeared tomorrow it wouldn't bother me either way. I know she is the mother of my children but I am so detached its not even funny any more.
Better stuff, I am really working out on the bike just about every night, stationary recumbanent, and I think I did four and a half miles last night. I had to mess with the setting half way through because it did not rest all the way. Its getting easier and my pulse rate is not getting as high so it is doing some thing. I booked my flight to Vegas and I am going to get there a few days early and stay with my cousins. May move to the hotel depending on finances and taxes if and when I get money back. Nothing happening with the divorce but I am going to make a call today and see if I can stir some thing up. Being in divorce limbo still sucks but I am doing better almost ready to change the face but this weekend was some what of a set back. Oh well happy Monday everyone and keep on keeping on as they used to say who ever they are.
UPDATED GOALS
Get rid of my gut.
Progress 5%
Encouragements: 11
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Nice progress Wick with being over stbx. Good goals too...keep up the good work. I will definitely see you in Vegas :)
MaeIsab
Sounds like you are ready to move forward and experience what life has to offer.
Is there a special trophy for a divorce dragging out so long? If so, you have earned it.
Hugs,
brenda
texcan
I have a funny story book character you JUST reminded me of at this moment, I am not telling you til we're face to face for a drink. laugh.
Good thing you've got the BIKE thing going man!!!
That is just flat out AWESOME! Keep it up, you'll be doing ten miles this time next week!
JTGPP
It sounds like you are making progress in your life. I am proud of you.
phoenix7
Why didn't you tell me you were down? We would have quit playing around and cheered you up a bit. We worked out with the trainer at the gym today and I know I'm not going to be able to move when I get up in the morning! But it's all worth it! Keep on peddling!!!
sc2kids4me
Change the face...seeing a big green smiley face may help. I'm proud of your introspection. You'll do ok, I betcha.
solongbye
It is the lonliness that gets me too. Even though I am busy with the kids - I still feel all alone.
baf1
I know how you feel. I miss having someone else around. I too wasn't the social one.
patti22
I'm sorry you are feeling bad, BUT ... drum roll... you still have LAS VEGAS to look forward to!! hee hee, come on...smile now!
RANCHAG
O and, if you get bored with the bike, I always have an extra horse for you to ride.. :o)
RANCHAG
You sound good! Bored is something we all have to deal with. You just keep looking forward to Vegas, I think your going to have a wonderful time. I wish I could get motivated to get on the treadmill. LOL! Love You Wick! xxxxoooooo
ladylinda
Wick check out meetup.com there are so many groups and EVERYONE is there because they are lonely and want to meet people. I have met so many nice people through it.
Jlhorlando
Hope you start feeling better. I know sometimes I stay at home just because I am not ready to go out and be "happy" in public. I know it would be a fake happiness so it is best just to stay to myself and work on my home projects. Can't do the video thing because all the new games at for the 360 and I still have the "not 360 xbox" and that thing locks up on me when I play morrowind. So I stopped. To bad I really liked that game.
Keep you chin up better days are ahead.
osa