cbloves50cent's Journal

my scars remind me that the past is real

 cutting isnt my problem its my solution

alone.frogotten.crying.tears.heartbroken.

depression.blood.cutting.why?.

questions.No one answers.good bye.

do u remember when people got to know you

before they judged you?

yeah, me neitherXXX

poor little girl you bleed so pretty 

caught up in your lies

when everything feels like the movies

you bleed just to no your alive

so take this razor

sign your name

across my wrists

so everyone will know

who left me like this

the depresion girl

and i'll jump knowing you don't care

can we go back to kindergarten when cutting ment

stealing a spot in line?

i hope you choke on every word you spoke

when you were screaming at  me

everyone cries every now and then...

my tears just happen to be red...

and i have to carve them out.

why should i risk everything if you risk nothing...

between each smile there's a tear in your eye,

kill me please

i guess i thought someone would notice

if i was missing

Can't you see me?

when i said i was happy i was lying

i carved your name on the bullet so people would know

you were the last thing going through my head

depression

you make me cry

so i put this knife to my wrist,

and say goodbye

pain is my best friend

it lets me know im not dead

yet

i hurt myself

so u can't 

pain doesn't hurt

when it's all

you've every felt

why live if your gonna die anyway?

i know what it's like to want to die

 how it hurts to much to smile. 

how you try to fit in 

but you can't

how you hurt yourself

on the outside to try

to kill the thing on the

inside.

my scars are daily reminders of who i used to be...

and who i could become again

everytime i try to fly i fall

without my wings

...i feel so small

you won't cry for my abscence i know

were can you run to escape from yourself?

it's my fault that no one knows how i truly feel

but that doesn't make it hurt any less

will this depression ever go away

im a cutter.

shhh... don't tell

its socially

unacceptable that i express pain.

depression is more common than you know. 

you are not alone.

...a locked door, 

a rusty razor,

a towel stained with red,

a folded note on the floor,

a broken mirror,

a young girl lays there dead,

their emotions in a tangle,

the room begins to swirl,

 she was mom's prefect angel,

and daddy's little girl...

sick of tring
tired of crying
ya im smiling
but inside im dying

love is the slowest form of suicide

i never changed, im just sick of pretending
to be happy

well she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor for attention

blood spattered on the wall wondering if you will catch me when i fall

never make someone your everything cause when they're gone you have nothing

i wish i was invisible as you make me feel

tears are words from the heart that can't be spoken

i cut to see if im still alive

i rather feel pain than nothing

i used to be love struck now im just fucked up

shes so scared to get close to anyone because everyone that ever said ill be there left

these drops of blood are my substitute for the tears i can't cry

you asked what was wrong and i smiled and said nothing then i turned around and said everything
yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time

don't worry ill be fine just let me slit my wrists one last time
i want to die