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Visited Josh yesterday at the county jail. Last week he seemed to give the attitude that he didn't care if we showed or not but yesterday I told him we would be back Thursday and he nodded his head. He was pretty talkative - I hope to speak to his P.O. today.
Myself - tough night last night, temptation just seemed to be calling my every fiber to go play. It was if I could feel the rush of a big hit. As I laid there - I realized it was just a temptation, it has no power over me and my choices. God permitted this temptation and through His peace at that very moment - it was gone. The 3 month mark is coming up. PTL!
I am much more free talking to my support group at the church - it is difficult as a pastor. I gave each one the authority to ask me anytime how I am doing. We start back our weekly celebrate recovery group this Sunday. Summer time is difficult to keep anything in momentum.
It is good to live in peace.
Blessings Friends.
Jim
UPDATED GOALS
GF for 3 months
Progress 80%
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UPDATED GOALS
GF for 3 months
Progress 75%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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Not alot has changed in the personal life, the house is pretty quiet with Patty and I. I get feeling of sadness concerning Josh thinking of him as a 17 year old in jail but in reality I know he is safe, fed and just board. He told Patty at the Saturday visit, he is really learning card games. We will make another visit tomorrow. Were planning a little vacation to Florida in a few weeks, just to get away for awhile. The church has been very supportive through this all and they gave us a nice anniversary gift to a bed and breakfast on Sunday. While in Honduras, Patty and I celebrated our 27th Wedding Anniversary. I admit - this year we have grown closer together instead of letting the circumstances pull us apart.
Thank you to my friends that have been sending encouraging notes this past week! Blessings to you all! Jim
It has been a while - life is good and I just finished a missions trip to Honduras. What a life changing event. We restored a local school, held a medical clinic, conducted children program through the day and went throughout the communicty sharing Christ's love, in the evening (when we could go out - normally the heavy storms would start about 5 in the afternoon), we would show the Jesus Film. The community where we worked was very poor (average income 4 dollars a day) but the children showed such joy. An added blessing - the school we restored will now allow them to have it inspected by the government and they can apply for schooling beyond the 6th grade. This changes the future for so many of these young people. The trip was just a week but it was amazing what happened and the work accomplished - it was a God thing.
Personal life - gamble free for over 2 months. Committing day to day in this area and talking more to those in my congregation about the problem for accountability.
Josh, our son - he did not get into challenge academy, the weekend before he was to enter, he went to a party and he was picked up by the police for underage drinking. The last three months he has been in and out of jail for underdage drinking (currently in). I visited him yesterday - we had 15 minutes to talk (we chuckled because we don't remember the last time we just spoke to each other for 15 minutes). Since this was a bond violation - he could be in there for awhile, I think the parole officer is trying to do a wake up check. Though it is hard for Patty and I, I have a peace that God is control of this all. The Sunday evening recovery group is still meeting, it is a healing place.
Professionally - since the surrender to stop gambling, I started back into school, working on a PH.D. in Pastoral Ministry (first course Problem of Evil). The church is maintaining and the Spirit is moving deeper in the worship services (I believe it has a cooralation to my personal actions).
Though is have not written, I have read the groups entries all along. What a journey in life. Blessings friends.
Jim
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Jim....so good to see you post, have been wondering how you are doing. Although your son's problems have continued to be of great concern to you, I know....you have not let that lead you back into gambling. Your mission sounds like something that immensely fulfilling- you did something that will affect the lives of that community for years to come! I am smiling in awe of what you all did there. Congratulations for going back to school....isn't it wonderful what we can do when we are not gambling? I liked how you said "the surrender to stop gambling"...it is a surrender. As long as I fought that surrender, I could not stop.
Blessings on you as well, my friend....
Dianne
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Jim - you are so right - what a journey in life - we all are on it at different stages and I am so glad that there are folks like yourself right along with me.
How amazing for you to be able to go to Honduras and minister to the people there like you did - it is really leveling - you have so much to give and in recovery we are in a much better place to do so.
I can understand what has been happening with your son - I have a teenage son too - 17 - tried underage drinking but very fortunately stopped before it got bad- boy teenagers are tough - I guess it's like us going back to the same patterns of behaviour and learning the hard way.
I know what you mean about 15 mins straight talking - things all happen for a reason.
You sound good. Blessings and hugs to you too.
Hugs Suzi
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Jim, it IS good to live in peace. Temptation may hit at any time, I feel it frequently...but we do have that choice to reach for our strength and our faith instead of reaching for our destruction.
With the situation with your son, you have a lot of stress and anxiety in your life right now....a big part of the lure of gambling for some of us is the escape...for others it is the thrill. I stay away from the casino by remembering the deep dark place I was in when I quit it. It is easy sometimes to forget how bad it was...and to think that there is some way to still gamble and be "OK". I don't know one person who has been able to return to gambling and have it be "OK".
Hang in there, Jim....what I have found for myself is that even the strongest urge passes if I acknowlege it, and step aside and let it go.
Wishing you strength in your recovery today....Dianne
DianneE