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  • Image of PatJ5

    About Me

    high tech marketing consultant, mother of 2, grandmother of 3, working with non-profits, love gardening

  • Recent Activity

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  • Journal

    • Journal Entry for January 29, 2007

      Mood January 29, 2007 12:14pm

      I am having a hard time because my husband's lover weighs 115 pounds. He used to call her after leaving our bed and ask her what color underware she …
    • Journal Entry for December 21, 2006

      Mood December 21, 2006 12:40pm

      My husband is getting therapy for his "problem" and blames his 8 year affair on depression and feeling bad about himself. We live in a beautiful …
    • Journal Entry for December 18, 2006

      Mood December 18, 2006 2:26pm

      It has been 4 months since I found out and I am still having a very hard time. Sometimes I think I can't go on. Sometimes I think I have to leave …

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    • I’m With You

      From Katylyn February 4, 2007

      Thank you for your support and kind words. I don't know if I will regret my decision or not. I hope I never do. However, I'm not staying with blinders on. I'm still going to check his phone messages and e-mails. He also gave me a notorized letter that if he ever cheats on me again that I get everything...house, cars, 40lK. I'm also taking antidepressants and they are helping a lot. Good luck in your decision. You have to decide on if you can trust him now and how to verify that your trust is given to someone who deserves it. Take care.

    • Hug

      From sugahrae January 31, 2007

      my thoughts are with you. i feel much of the same stuff you have written about in your journal.

    • Hug

      From cayucos1949 January 5, 2007

      Thank you for the hug. Things are still up in the air. I am presently with my daughter only for a visit, but a talk my husband had with me Tues. morning prompted this visit sooner than I had planned. He told me he loved me but he wasn't in love with me anymore. He suggested he stay with a friend for a bit while "he" thought things out as we both agreed there was substantial strain in the house. But I could not agree to that as I have a big house and do not like being alone even though I have 3 dogs. I have never lived alone and decided that I would go to my daughters so he could do whatever thinking he had to do. I had seen a lawyer and told him so at that point so as to be prepared in the event that we would decide on a divorce. He had a stunned look on his face. I don't think he expected that from me as I am usually the "accepting" one and attempt to put things behind me but as I explained to him, he being so indecisive these days, my wondering who he was with or what he was doing, was something I had to do for ME. It is a four hour trip to my daughters, one which was filled with tears. I was even more confused than before and again my life was in limbo. He called to see if I arrived safely but each time I would hear his voice, the tears became uncontrollable. The next morning he called me to tell me he still though it would be better to stay with his friend...not his female friend, but a mutual male friend of ours. I told him I was going to make small trips to see family and didn't know when I would return home. I had thinking to do also. Wed. night he called me to ask how I was and then out of nowhere he asked me to come home. He said he was an idiot, was wanting to make ammends, not throw away these 22 years and took all the blame. He missed me and wanted me to come home as he admitted what a heal he was. I told him to call me the next morning. Quite frankly I just didn't want to hear anymore lies. Yesterday morning he called me again. Claiming he spent the day thinking about everything, that he loved me and he was willing to try if I still wanted to. I expressed my disbelief in all that he said and asked what if I were to come home and the next day, or weeks or months he would change his mind. He was adamant. He wanted me back and he loved me. Again, as he has always said, he did not want a divorce. I am still at my daughters and do not know what to do. I do want to go home but am so afraid. I am still in limbo and I don't trust or believe him. Why the sudden change in the past couple of days?! I just don't know. I pray so hard for strength and guidance. I am so lost.......by the way, I do love my husband and don't want our marriage to break up, but he has betrayed my trust.

    • Hug

      From Katylyn December 25, 2006

      I don't understand either....My husband has been having an affair for over 7 years. I thought I gave him everthing. Now her promises never to be unfaithful...how can I or anyone believe him...

    • Prayer

      From Truetomyself December 16, 2006

      I hope you are seeking counseling for yourself. People who commit adultery never truly Realize there are consequences for their Actions not only to themselves but also to others. I know your pain and I wish you the best And I hope you see some one, it helps God bless….

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  • Support Groups

    • Close Infidelity

      I have been with my husband for 19 years, married for 14 years. I thought he had high values and morals. It turns out he has been having an emotional and sexual affair with his ex-wife living in another city. He calls her every other day and sees her about 4 times a year. AND there was a woman at work that he slept with after "being there for her" after her divorce. He says he was depressed because he was out of work and the industry suffered a downturn. I have been working all this time.

      Treatments

      Couples Counseling Too Soon to Tell
      Couples Counseling Too Soon to Tell
      I can't get beyond the betrayal and lies.
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