JennaB's Journal

Well, last night I had a moment. Robbie and I had an emotional talk about our feelings, and it was a biggie. But very good. We have been taking things slow like I have written previously, and that is good and we are going to continue to do so, but I needed to know where I stood, you know, whether or not Robbie still planned on moving here, and ofcourse what about me. And he said yes, he is coming, and yes, his feelings for me are growing stronger, and that is cool, I just don't want to rush him, you know, he just broke up with a guy that he loved, and at first I really didn't understand how he could have feelings for anyone but me, how whack is that? but I get it now, he needs time, ofcourse he needs time, I was just so blindsided by our reunion, you know that I couldn't wrap my head around how he was dealing with a serious break up, you know? And I was rushing him, complicating everything to the point that he needed a break, and looking back at my behavior I totally get it, and see how I was behaving like a complete jack ass.

Anyway, I am releived to know where I stand, and thank god it is exactly where I want to be. yay for me!!!

Not to go on and on about Robbie, i just have to say, I have never known the kinda happy I share with him. And It is there when we spend hours almost daily talking on the phone, or cam2cam, but I can't help it if I am selfish and I want him to be within touching range, you know. It is kinda like my life turned into a nightmare the day he told me he couldn't stay and got on that train. I know that sounds totally melodramamtic and all but it kinda rings true, I was completely devastated loosing him, and have only recently made peace with it, after all this time. and the fact that he is coming back, to me is like a do-over, and that is really special, you know, we don't get do-overs, or second chances very often , and I tell you I have a new number one on my gratitude list.

thanks for all your support. it means the world to me!

jay