JennaB's Journal

I swear I never cease to amaze myself with the crazy jealous low self esteem thoughts that race through my head sometimes.  Like all the stuff I put myself through yesterday when Javid and I were apart.  It was total bullshit.  Last night, he took me out to a movie, we watched "Mirrors" with Kieffer Sutherland, it was okay.  I think it could have been a lot better, and then we went out for a couple of beers at a neighborhood bar that Javid used to go to alot.  It was alright.  We had to get up early so we didn't stay out real late.  Tonight, he is taking me to a nice restaurant, after he picks up his new car, an Acura something or another, he is very excited.  He sold his car a few months back impulsively, bought another car just like it, only it was a lemon and it blew a gasket on the way to Santa Cruz for that family wedding we went to last month and he ended up selling it for a hundred dollars a few weeks back, so we've been cruising in his work van, which Javid hates.  It has been driving him crazy, which in turn drives me crazy- so I am very stoked that this whole thing with the new car worked out. He has a cousin that travels all the time and has a sports car that he doesn't drive, that Javid's father co-signed for, so Javid is going to take over payments, and everyone is happy  Its a nice car, and Javid wants to take me out and show off in it tonight.  It should be fun.  

Right now, I am sitting in the van waiting downstairs for him to take the legs off a coach and then bring it downstairs and move.  Things are good.  He doesn't like me to help too much, he always says my job is to sit and look pretty, and/or if a customer rides with us to make conversation because he hates to.

 My sister and I are close, I really don't think I would have ever dreamed that we would get along so well after I came out completely with being transgender and all. But she is, I am actually comfortable talking about everything with her,  It is amazing.  I cannot wait to go down to visit her with Javid, it is going to be great.  Javid was talking about taking the new car on a trip, because it is such a good car and all, so we will see.  My sister is mad at my Dad for being a dick and talking sit to her, and when she told me the story, I realized just how glad that I am that I live so far away and am not directly involved with them like she is.  

More later....