JennaB's Journal

So today is Sunday, the last day of my much needed break from work.  Last week was hell.  Javid and I went to a wedding yesterday in Santa Cruz which was kinda lame.  I think Javid thought it was going to be a lot more fun than what it turned out to be.  I have actually never been to a wedding, or to Santa Cruz so I had a decent time.  Javid has been wonderful all week since  Monday.  I wrote up a letter stating that he agreed to give me a thirty day notice before trying to kick me out, and he signed it for me to give me piece of mind, and had consistently insured me that it will never happen, he has been talking about marriage, and how I am the one and there is no denying it.  At the wedding I met his cousin Payman, whom he grew up with and he thanked me for making Javid happy.  Javid, myself, Payman and his boyfriend are all suppose to go camping in the Santa Cruz mountains this coming weekend.  I am stoked about it.  

My sister, Carla, I am afraid might be a little disappointed in me for going back, but I cannot help myself, I am madly in love, and so is Javid.  He told me today how no one had ever been as into him, or attached to him as I am, and how he loved and appreciated me for that.  Don't get me wrong, we have a ways to go, but for the most part it has been the most wonderful experience, the most loving relationship I have ever been a part of.  Love was one of the things that I didn't learn growing up with my family.  It seems awkward, for example when I try to express affection for my sister, and it really shouldn't be like that.  It is sad actually.  And for the first time, I have someone to lean on and make these feelings better.  I feel truly blessed.  Javid is actually in bed as we speak waiting for me to join him.  It is only about 7:30pm... and I am sure that neither of us have sleeping on the mind...  Later....