JennaB's Journal

So on monday night I was flat out on the street with a bag, that Javid didn't even want to give me time to pack.  Homeless again, right back where I vowed I would never be again.  No money, no one to turn too, or at least that is what I was telling myself at the time, totally preparing myself for the role of victim- I had no idea what had happened, Javid just switched the script half way through the scene-  we never fought for christ sakes- ever really.  The only disagreements or problems we have had were from outside sources. The why, however, wasn't my concern at that point, I called everyone I thought was a friend, and no one could help or let me stay over night- conveniently everyone had guests on a monday night!  

I called my sister Carla, and she saved the day wiring me some cash so that I could eat and get a hotel room for the night.  Javid threw me out like the garbage- I was devastated. The following day I went to work only to be sent home, the day before the Veteran's Connect.  Luckily, they're concern was my getting better, and I was given time off to deal with my situation.  Working for Homeless Connect is a blessing, and with one phone call I was given a free hotel room for a month to figure out my situation, Carla had agreed to help  me with rent on a place so things were actually looking up.  I had Javid move my stuff to this room, which by the way is located in the worst neighborhood in downtown San Francisco- where people smoke crack without trying to hide it, prostitutes work, bums swill their booze and throw up on the sidewalk, and trash cans with mountains of garbage line the sidewalks.  Real nice place.  When Javid saw where I was because of him, he started to cry.  I guess he had one of those moments for realization because his tune changed, a 360.  He explained what had been bothering him (which I will get to in a moment) promised he would put his friends in their places, vowed that he loved me and realized when I was gone that night how much he loved having me around, so I have been back, my stuff is still at the hotel, because I am trying to make sure that he is sure and that I am sure and that this kinda thing doesn't happen again.  I am going to write out an agreement for both of us to sign stating that we live together and what not so that I cannot be done that way again.  Plus I believe him when he says he won't do it again.  

We are going to a wedding in Santa Cruz tomorrow- and I am pretty excited it is a big family wedding so I will be meeting all of Javid's cousins and stuff. It should be interesting to say the least.  I haven't been to Santa Cruz so I am really looking forward to it.  It is going to be great to get out of the city for a day or two.  I want to take the van and sleep overnight or something.  It depends on our finances which are a little strapped right now.  My sister is going to send me some cash so that will help.

 I dunno, I am hoping that this will be the last of the drama between Javid and I at least for awhile.