JennaB's Journal

So yesterday turned out to be a decent day,  despite the fact that Javid and I didn't get out of bed until around 2pm!  I don't know what my problem was, I just couldn't get up, I didn't call in on time and ended up getting in some trouble at work.  Javid took me shopping, bought me some shoes, clothes, and make up- it was great!  

Things are looking good between us, I think, though there are some minor things that keep getting us in trouble, we manage too work things out, which is very important, you know.  Our house is pretty cool.  I am actually up super early this morning, which is unheard of, so I am writing my journal before I go to work.

 I am in a strange place right now in my life, I am actually pretty happy, all things considered, I have messed with some drugs lately which isn't something I want to really have be part of my life, but it seems at the time being there is little I can really do about it, it isn't anything too serious, and I am praying that I will keep it in check, for Javid and myself, we keep talking about not doing it anymore, but we still seem to use, more often lately than before.  I am in a strange position when it comes to it, Javid is everything, and I do mean everything that I want in a guy- well except for his taste for cocaine, and I know that everyone has to battle their own demons, but I cannot allow this to ruin what we have, so I am putting myself at risk, by going along with it, now that sounds wrong, no one is twisting my arm here, right.  It is coming to a point where I am going to have to stop this before it screws up my work, hell my life.  Nobody is perfect, right! There are some many other outstanding and wonderful things about him that make looking over this fault pretty easy, but I am coming to that point that things could get a little dicy, so we'll see.  We have been having the conversation about it, so that is good and a positive, and we agree that we need to stop.  And we will, and we will do it together.  I am sure some of you are like-what? But I am serious we can- and we will.  I AM IN THIS TO WIN IT- I will be damned if I let a little white powder strip me of the love I have longed for my whole life, and have finally obtained.  I figure if it wasn't this it would be something else, at least with this, I know what's up. Right?