looking for normal.
July 9, 2008 2:28am
Today was a wonderful day, It started out a little shaky, but Javid came and got me for lunch which was a wonderful surprise and he …
JennaB’s Profile
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JennaB
is feeling Bad
About Me
I have been a member of the Daily Strength(DS) for over a year now, and I have grown and learned so much about myself in this time. Over three years ago, I was alone in the world, living on the streets of San Francisco, a strung out hustler. My struggle to change my life was a difficult one, and it seemed as soon as I managed to get off the drugs, my Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD took over and my life remained in a bad place. Through Hard work and determination, with the help of a therapist I have managed to build a life for myself, one that includes a healthy loving relationship with my Javid. A fulfilling career with Project Homeless Connect, which is an amazing thing that is replicated in over 180 Cities worldwide. Life isn't perfect, and I am certainly not. BUt I have realized that all that doesn't matter. Living life in the moment is very important to me these days after years of just coasting through it numb on a mission to commit a slow suicide one needle at a time.
Interests
I believe it is my calling to be of service to others so I volunteer regularly, I enjoy curling up with a good movie and a bowl of popcorn, taking long walks with no peticuliar destination, coffee and good conversation, and being creative. I love quiet evenings making dinner of my boyfriend, as well as the occasional club scene. I seek beauty and ignore fault.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Confused about love
July 8, 2008 12:43am
How do you know when you have allowed her insecurities and fears to cloud your judgement to the point that even if you are seeing REAL …
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HELP
July 5, 2008 8:30pm
This weekend has been an interesting experience to say the least. Things haven't been as good as I thought they were, I have come to find …
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Javid & Jenna together and strong!
July 2, 2008 4:27am
I must confess, I have been so busy living my life lately,I have had little time to digest what has been going on with me. I feel that my …
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Something that burns bright and intensely.....
June 28, 2008 11:13am
I have been so wrapped up in work and life that I haven't had a chance to write i my journal lately,,, But it looks like I might be having more …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hug
Sending you lots of love!!
Hug
sorry its been such a long time since ive been in contact! plz 4givme? been busy doin odd jobs here in town.
I’m With You
Hug
hugs girl i miss you. you been busy.. i m sorry if i hurt your feelings with my message i also have another ds that your free to look up its in the ts place it explains alot... thanks carrie
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
my story is still not completely recovered i have periods of time in my childhood i do not remember, but i believe there was sexual abuse, all of my relationships have either been short lived or lengthy and mentally and physically abusive, when i was in college i was almost beaten to death adn raped by a man in Dallas, Texas who went on and raped and murdered several queens like me afterward, growing up in texas i never fit in and was constantly miss treated for starterd
Treatments
- Effexor Working / Worked
- this in combination of buspar and trazadone have lifted a large part of the weight that i carry
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- again in combiantion with effexor and trazadone it is a godsend
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- again in combination with effexor and buspar is fantastic, it makes my despression manageable
- Methadone Working / Worked
- methadone is my treatment for herion addiction and with the anti despressant makes me a stable person
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I am dual diagnosis, i have major depressive disorder and PTSD, so i kind therapy to be an excellent tool to keep my head above water and also exaime the things that make me act out in a safe structured enviroment
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I am dual diagnosis, i have major depressive disorder and PTSD, so i kind therapy to be an excellent tool to keep my head above water and also exaime the things that make me act out in a safe structured enviroment
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I am dual diagnosis, i have major depressive disorder and PTSD, so i kind therapy to be an excellent tool to keep my head above water and also exaime the things that make me act out in a safe structured enviroment
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depressioni have major depressive disorder, which for me mainfests it's self in sometimes incapacitating dread and if untreated i spend weeks at a time just starring at the walls, i a afraid to interact with other people, out of fear of rejection, and have anxiety attacks, and a cripplingly negative self dialouge, it has been a part of my life for as long as i can remember, but when i was younger it didn't have the strength it has now.
Treatments
- Effexor Working / Worked
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- the combination of these four drugs have given me back a sense of self and have lifted this overwhelming weight fo sadness and toxic self talk.
- Trazodone Working / Worked
- It is hard to put into words just how much the right medication has helped me, it took me almost a year of pure hell, ups and downs, to find the right combo.
- Methadone Working / Worked
- but when you do, it's like a fog lifting, i have found that my need to self medicate with drugs has left me as well, for the most part. I am not cured but it is doable.
Open Homelessness
because of drug addiction, major depressive disorder, and PTSD, I lived on the streets surviving by prostitution, selling drugs, and even at times pushing a shopping cart and collecting cans. This was an extremely difficult time in my life, I suffered through many horrific experiences from being woken up by being punched in the face, to having the high way patrol harass and confinscate all my belongs, leaving me barefoot without a coat or blanket in winter.
Open Hepatitis C
Due to my past of I.V. drug use I contracted this virus four or five years ago, and I have recently have taken a battery of blood test. abdominal sonograms, and soon a liver biopsy in order to decided whether or not I should undergo interferon treatment. So far I know that I am Genoa type 1 which is less likely to be cured by interferon. Which means gives me a 40%-45% likely hood the treatment will be successful. And of course the side effects are horrible, but there is a chance.
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have experienced violence both physical and verbal on many occasions that were never addressed until 2005 in san francisco, ca
Treatments
- BuSpar Working / Worked
- in combination with effexor, methadone and trazadone, I have noticed that i am a lot more level headed and do not flash, or have attacks as much.
Open Sexual Abuse
I have suspected for a long time that something happened to me as a child, and the last week of August I remembered some details proving to myself that there was abuse. I am still putting the pieces to together about this truth.
Treatments
