yesterday was a brillaint day. …
yesterday was a brillaint day. i was so busy i had no time to think about any of this stuff. how can i be on a high one …
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I read my friends journal about faith.She said her enemies are depression and chronic pain.Here are mine:
Scoliosis- It is a combination of friend and foe.Hard to explain.How do I hate me illness when it is literally a part of me? Its not some far away illness.It is literally my spine and my ribs. How could I hate myself more than I already do?
When "Sammy" is gone will my faith go too? This hunchback keeps me latched onto God.
Anorexia-- I still dont know if my heart really knows the full extent of it or really cares.I am scared to hit rock bottom if I havent yet.Wouldnt rock bottom be death? What will I say to God if for some reason I went to heaven? How do you face an all knowing God with blinding truth that I just couldnt take care of what He entrused to me? How sick is it to actually like punishing myself.Something has to be wrong with me.
Perfectionism--Its going to ruin me.
Anxiety- I am scared of everything and am a coward.I spend half the day worrying about things that never happen.
Depression---ugh where do I even begin.You tried to kill me before but havent won yet.
And as to you death,you and your bitter hug of immortality....................it is idle to try to alarm me.
-----Walt Whitman
my friend talked about faith, how it helps her.It hit me yesterday that Jesus really does love me.Once in a while my heart softens just enough to let some of it in and its impossible to remain composed.Jesus says our weakness makes Him stronger.I hope so.
I dont know what to do with myself.Sorry to not respond and read friends journals, etc.... my brain is messed up right now.Forgive me please. *hugs* -Tahnee
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jesus is my rock, in him do I rest, …
jesus is my rock, in him do I rest, witn him do I belong, with him do we all belong.
There is a Wonderful book written by a woman in Canada who was an anorexic. She was a English teacher who became a Jungian Psychologist. It is call " Addicted to Prefection" by Marion Woodman. take care -- hugs
bmack
Bless you sweetie! You are one special person...... I am thinking of you!
mom of 3
Tahnee sweetheart....my p doc suggested that I stop being a spectator of myself and just be and do......without criticism or comment...I am trying really hard. Sammy will be the past and there will be a new and improved you.Just for today lets take care of our God given bodies. We can do it. You are NOT alone.
toria53
sorry you are having a rough day today. I hope tomorow is better and that Tuesday is good also. :) {{Hugs}} and thinking about you.
Aquain
I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way, I am an overeater and it's killing my back and my ability to walk and function normally, so I understand somewhat and pray we get through our challenges together
pozfem