TrB22's Journal

Today was my doctors visit and day of babysitting Gavin.

First the babysitting, it wasnt painful,lol :)

I have to announce that I changed my first poopy diaper.I asked God to help me so I would not get sick,lol :)

Last night was a BAD night but today with Gavin lifted my spirit so now I feel better.I got down last night , the dizziness was rough and my body was tired.Everything was tired,my head,my heart,my soul.It was one of the storms.Where I just get scared of dying or being like this forever.Some times the physical effects of my eating disorder and spine make it hard to be chipper.But I asked Jesus for the rest He talks about.He helped me, He gave some strength to my soul so now I can fight a little longer.I love what Mattie Stepanek the poet says he says to "remember to play after every storm" Well today with Gavin was the playtime after the storm

My doctors visit went okay.I had blood drawn and had a tetanus shot.(I cut myself while babysitting on a jar and i thought of how i have needed a tetanus shot)I figure the incident was Gods way of saying "Hey get the shot already!!" I passed on getting one when they reminded me in the ER some months back.I have been overdue for the shot.So I figure it happened for a reason :)

The shot kills my arm,lol They said I have no muscle to inject into,lol  But they found a spot.

I have to go to a neurosurgeon.For an insurance referral to Boston.The Maine insurance co. still doesnt want me going to Boston.They need proof I need to go basically.I have already had one but I didnt bring it up, I figure maybe God wants me to get seen.A neurosurgeon can know if my nerves from my spine are being affected.

Part of me thinks God is doing this for a reason.I always thought He wanted me to be a surgeon, but lately my hand coordination is nothing like it used to be most likely from my spinal nerves being affected by my curve.I have been ignoring it and just decided "well I just wont be a surgeon then" Maybe God wants me to get better so I could be a surgeon.I dont know just a thought:)

I have never had a visit to a neurosurgeon, im not sure what they will do.I will have to see:) I went to the church meeting last night, i zoned out from my dizziness and I laughed during one passage I was reading,lol   Me and my older sister Micayla went.Who by the way I am excited to say is 2 years clean tommorrow :) She wrote it in her DS journal but I figured I would say it here;) her screen name is micayla if anyone wants to talk to her too:)

One of my DS friends made me smile, she said that she believes God had her meet me to help her with something cardiology related.It makes me happy that I could help out in some medical way especially.I think God  definetly brings people together for reasons :) its so cool when you find out how and why He did :)

Thats about all for now :) I hope everyone had a great day and have a great night:)