starlaw79's Journal

Well this is just to say that life is good. I have a few teething problems with my children which i am trying to deal with but other than that everything seems to be looking up. To think that this time last year i was miserable, i was in a relationship with a man that i didn't truely love and that offered no love, care or support to me but for fear of being alone and fear of the unknown i stayed on the pretense that it was love. I was financially worrying and the house seemed like an overwhelming task. Now well everything is changing. I am in a relationship with a man that is amazing, i have never felt so content, loved, supported and cared for in my life. I have never felt such respect and trust for a man as i do for Dave. I have never felt so equal in a relationship and i love him, no pretense no hiding behind love because of fear just pure love. Financially there is always a worry, but then lets face it 50% of the country are in the same predicament the economy is on a knife edge and no one really knows where they stand. It is something that we unfortunately can not have much control over so i am learning not to stress to much and just go with it on a day by day week by week basis. At least i can be thankful that i have found employment and dave is in employment too. We are earning so there is always things to be thankful for. The house is an overwhelming task, there is no doubt in my mind that on  the whole it is mindblowing the amount that needs to be done and the money that needs to be spent but we will just have to deal with things one room at a time and at least i am sharing the work the stress and the cost of it now. Dave will be moving in to our home permanently soon and it is wonderful. I can't believe how much life can change and how easily it could have been different, i could have given up and given in, i could have let depression and lonliness pull me into the deepest pits of hell but with the help of good friends like my DS family i managed to see things better, put things into perspective and to deal with each day as it came. That is all any of us can do at times like that, survive one day at a time and set attainable goals. We all wish too hard to be happy and that is all we seem to focus on we forget to notice that we actually woke up this morning, we made it out of bed, we managed to drink that cup of coffee. We all wish we could function better but we forget to notice that we have actually functioned at all. I wish to thank all of my DS family and to say that i am always here. I might not be about as often as i once was and i see this as a positive thing, i hope that one day all of you don't need to be here but choose to come on from time to time to offer support for those that you have grown to love. I love you all and i will keep up as much as i can. BIG HUGSxxx