brandifoot's Journal

i am really starting to think missing my dad this much is not normal i think that my depreesion is getting worse i feel lost and confused and all i want is to cry i miss him and i can't explain it was all of a sudden i felt this heavyness like it was happen all over and now i get it almost 1 a week if not more i can't explain it i need helpa part of me what him to walk through this door and say he is sorry he had to leave another part wants anwser to why he is gone i mean i want to know how and why and i want someone to blame for my pain and most of all i am anger i want him back i need him back to hold me and tell me i am not a screw up that he loves me that he need me as much as i need him i am 22 and the mere thought of him brings me to uncontrollable sobs i think i am mad cause i need him to save me and he wasn't there i need him to save me from the bad things that i had been put throuh i need him to tell me it wasn't my fault that he left god is it sad that one person c ould fix this whole thing if i could find her i could be at peace with it all maybe then i could visit his grave haven't because i am to scared of how knowing for sure he is gone will do to me aah i am so frustrated at this whoe thing