Pray for me. My first --ignments …
Pray for me. My first assignments are due Saturday and I'm a bit nervous. I also am getting tired. …
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Went to my DR. yesterday to discuss my med probs, he put me back on advair, and told me that technically by my pft results I am disabled, but didn't appear willing to stick his neck out and write them a letter. I am going today to their DR. of choice, an internist, to take whatever tests they want me to take, and am having extreme anxiety over it. I wasn't too pleased with the x-rays I took yesterday, there were a bunch of strands running down the edges of my lungs, looked like tree branches, but were white on the x-ray, so black in reality, all down through the ventrical parts, never got that good a picture. More than a little scary. Maybe, I'd better quit smoking, before it kills me. I wasn't too happy with DR.'s attitude, but he did tell me I needed something for my nerves. Didn't see him write a perscript for it though. The pulmonologists here are pompous A____!! Part of my problem is that I haven't been able to quit, which he didn't even seemed concerned about. Everyone in the waiting room was 20 yrs older than me, and I felt really stupid even being there. Almost felt like I was asking him to help me breathe a little better, so I could live long enough to smoke another cig. I feel angry and helpless at the same time, which is not me at all, I've always been a kick butt ask questions later kind of person, and nothing beat me. But, this addiction is winning, and I feel powerless to stop it. Guess I'll go soak my head in gasoline and light another cig....
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Oh honey...I know how you feel..same feeling i had at pul..office..we can do this girl..u are just having a bad day..who wouldnt being terrified from xrays..i try not to look but cant help myself..still havent got an mri..more test coming at end of month..
well u just give em hell at the other docs..they have to see that u are suffering.u wouldnt be reaching out for help if u werent..and oh just to breath like a normal person...i know..i think it often..but we both need to try and quit this stuff.
when are heads will work with us..but first step doll.u talked about it...ya know the stuff they put in cigs..is the addiction. it is not only the nicotine it is all the other additives that are addicting to..that is why it is harder for people these days just to quit..you have a chemical dependency..we both do...u best not get in no gasoline girl..
and if u can get something for ur nerves..i have had less problems with using the cigs when u are more at ease with the nerves..seriously..my thing was stress and light up..now i go for a long while without thinking of it..take a nerve pill and go on..still will go for it though..so dont feel alone dear..u r not...i am here for you..may not always be on top of the game on days..but you know i will be here...
luv tracy
hang in there girl..sending you hugs.....
littlemisstracy2u