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I don't want to fail, but I feel I've held out as long as I can. I know I shouldn't base my emotional state on other people's actions or lack there of, but I don't know how to do otherwise.
I wanted to be safe to swim without having to wear a shirt overtop. I guess that won't be happening.
Hell, I don't really want to go. But I can't let my sister down, so I fear that I must. Supposedly, it will be a fun time. I will, at the very least, try to pretend to be happy and healthy, to keep others from having to care about/for me while I am there. Anyway, I don't want to spook the nephew.
It's 2:30. I will try to make it until 3, but unless something good happens (anything? please?) I don't know if I can make it any longer than that...
At the very least, I think I will be able to keep all acts of hate confined to myself. Though it is getting harder to rein in my darker thoughts...........
