Day 2 part 2
I don't even know what had happened since 9 am. I am at a loss of words as I write this entry of how to describe …
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Fine. I'm feeling bad so I'm writing, again.
I suppose that I'm worried about changing majors. It's sort of a big step for me, to admit that I need to do something different that what I have been.
I am considering writing to a Dean about what I feel is unfair treatment from my Professor since I confesed to her that I was sexually abused.
I want to hurt myself. I don't want to call anyone. I don't want anyone to make me feel better. I feel like I need to punish myself for not being good enough. Not good enough to get a professor to like me. Not good enough to succeed in the major I wanted. Not good enough, ever.
Fine. I'll call someone. Damn. Stupid brain, making me do the logical and right thing.
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I know all about how hard change is. I don't really know what to say about dealing with it tho. All I know to say is that, I took lots of religious studies classes, cuz I majored in it. So if you ever have questions, want advice, or even just to talk about what you learned in class (cuz sometimes you learn something so cool and want to share it, but don't have anyone to appreciate it) I will totally be here for you. I think that if you feel talking to the Dean might help you feel better, then you should definately do it. What's the worst that can happen, nothing? At least you can say you tried, and that should make you feel at least slightly better about yourself. No matter what you end up doing to deal with how you are feeling right now, I'm glad you decided to call someone to help out. That's awesome and is a good way to help you organize your thoughts!! Remember fear is natural and there's nothing wrong with being scared, just don't forget it doesn't have to control you. I know for me it's easy to forget that. Anyways, that's all I've got for now :) ttyl
MakingMyWay
I meant to say I minored in religious studies. Oopsy :) Either way I took lots of classes.
MakingMyWay