911 appt with Dr Zak
I went to therapy and I found out the emergancy appointment is not on the book and I dont know what to do.
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Had to resort to emergancy valium to get myself to yoga class. Not doing so good. I just seem to be in a constant state of terror, afraid of the demands of everyday life. I want a cacoon I can hide in so I can feel safe. I don't tell friends or even my nurse how bad I feel . I laugh and joke because no-one wants to be around someone so obviously needy incasre you will become a leech and suck the life out of them, so I pretent. It is hard though aCTING ALL THE TIME i'M WITH PEOPLE WHICH IS WY 99% OF THE TIME i'M ALONE. What am I really? Who am I? I wish I thought I belonged somewhere.
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