Yesterday sucked...I got home from …
Yesterday sucked...I got home from work by 4:30am, got to bed a little after 5am. I asked my husband if I could …
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So we had it out last night. She received an application in the mail from the Santa Anita Race track and was excited about it and asked my opinion, I read it and was less than enthused. It said she was guarunteed 5 days of employment throughout the year with a possibility of 15 max. She had to pay $75 for some kind of gaming license. I told her we didn't have the money for it and I though she should focus on something else, like Target has a big now hiring sign, what about that? She said she didn't want to work there but didn't really give a reason. I told her Michael and I don't especially love our jobs, that's why they call it WORK!! I probably shouldn't be working at all given my health issues but what choice do I have?? I said we're not asking you to sell fruit on the freeway, what the hell is wrong with Target?? You've been looking for 4 months for the perfect job and in the meantime I can't afford to feed us all.
Then I moved to the subject of chores, I said we would be more accepting of her not working if she was at least pitching in as much as us. I said all I really ask you to do is the dishes and I am constantly finding myself washing a fork because the sink is overflowing with dishes...and I have nothing to eat with!!
I buy her cigarette's (I know this is ridiculous but I figured if she was without them she would be too grouchy to look for work), she has coffee already made everyday she wakes up (at noon!), breakfast lunch and dinner prepared for her by ME!, her own bathroom, bedroom, full cable service, laundry facilities, A/C, heat, she gets all my magazines when I'm done with them etc. etc. etc.-if someone was providing all this to you wouldn't you do the dishes every f#cking day!!! And more!!???
So after I said this about the dishes, she said she would leave on Monday (which incidentally is my B-Day), I said really? You're leaving because I have an issue with the dishes???
I suppose it's for the best, if she wants to leave everytime I want to discuss household issues, than what kind of future do we have?
She called me insensitive and heartless and went to bed on the new bed we bought her because ours was "too firm"....
I feel kinda sad now because when we get along it's great-but we've never been Mother-Daughterly with each other, more like good friends if anything.
But I've done all I can and we're going broke in the process. She lived with me when I was single for a while back in 2000, I had a one bedroom apt. She never got a job then either and eventually I had to file bankruptcy....I don't think she relates one with the other. I obviously can't/won't do that again.
I hope she leaves when she says because I need to start over and worry about MY family.
Sorry about the long post-God Bless anyone who gets through it all!!
I love you guys.
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You have every right to rant. I'm just sorry that you're having to go through this. She really should help out, especially when someone is providing for you. Hope things get better soon. Hugs, Dawn
Dawn2
Oh JJ, don't feel sad about spelling things out to her. She has been draining you dry since she has been living with you and it sounds like you and Michael have done everything to accomadate and make her happy. Even buying her a new bed and cigarettes. Now it is time to think of your immedite family! Auntie Marcia says it is okay to start being selfish. Let her leave Monday, would she have honored your birthday anyway. Hell, we here on DS will have a virtual birthday party for you and she is not invited. lol Really hon, I feel awful for you. You are overworked, depressed, hurting and low on finances. What is it that she doesn't quite get? You were rght to tell her about that racetrack job, sheez 5-15 days and it costing you money besides???? I don't think so. Now I want you to go get Ian that swimming pool and fill it up with lots of sand. You can play in it with him and maybe he can bury your feet and make you smile. I hate when you feel like this, it makes me sad. Love you sweet one. marcia
bizemomm
oh good for you! Glad you found how to stiffen that boney thing that runs up your back. In cases like this the more you help the more you enable the behavior. How manipulative to threaten to leave on your b-day! I would start putting her belongings on the front porch on Sunday night ... and that would be the last 'help' I'd offer. Stick to your guns, sista!
xoxox Jacque
comfypaws
I'm really sorry to hear, you are having so many problems with your mother. Hope you can find a solution soon. By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You deserve to have a real nice B-Day. If you were closer I would bring you a Cake and a small gift for being the nicest friend I've ever had. My thoughts and prayers are with you, God BLess YOU, Bonchi.
Bonchi
What a bad situation, but you are right to stick to it. Don't let her change her mind or yours. I hope it gets better for you.
Happy, Happy Birthday to you!
Crys
crystalynn
I think you did the right thing. I've had someone in my life just like her and they never change. As a matter of fact, make sure somebody's home when she leaves cause she'll probably try to take the bed with her, lol. Sad but true. Unfortunately we don't get to pick our family so it is possible to have a mother who isn't up to the job. Hang in there honey and focus on you and your family - you deserve better...hugs jilly
JillyT