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Woah nelly. Yesterday was a strange one. I think I had some reaction to my pills, after having a couple of beers that is. Nothing major, just went into a bit of a confused kind of state, and felt a sense of impending doom, and almost like a dual personality coming out of me. Im amazed I didnt go into panic mode. Shhh dont tempt fate.
I only went out to persue my hobby of darts, I play with a local team so I need to keep my arm in. But I ended up downing a few beers and just feeling like crap warmed up.
Also a conversation with a friend took a strange turn, all my fault. If the person is reading this I apologise for my strangeness, you deserve better from me. I have learnt something here about myself: 1) dont drink with these bloody pills (even though is was only few) 2) Dont chat online when youre not in the normal frame of mind 3) Well, I dont need a three 'cos one and two were so bloody great.
Seriously, Im better off just keeping out of peoples way, I feel as though everything I do, or say goes pear shaped. Know what Im saying? Just feel like I want to camp out in a field on the moors alone for a while, and enjoy the silence. Thats sounds mad doesnt it?
Im also finding, my mind is ticking over all the time about everything and anything. I keep thinking I have some terminal illness or my family will have, as an only child, I fear losing close ones all the more I think. I need to speak to my GP about this, I dont think this treatment is doing anygood. I need this scan, either I have something in my head causing this personality change, or something is not agreeing with me. Tinnitus is just as bad as usual, Its now got to the stage when I lay down, the noise is louder, thus making it even harder to sleep/rest. Got a few hours eventually last night, had the most vivid and bizarre dreams, something I dont normally suffer with, well not since my sleep paralysis episodes the other year, but I will tell you that story another time.
Well, just going to stay in today, and try and collect my thoughts, and regroup.
Adios, for now. x
