annieagain's Journal

Well tomorrow I get the results from my MRI after more than a year of Avonex I will know if a year of shotting myself with that neeedle was worth it.  I am not whinning any longer and finnally feel over the flu about time.  I do think it is the Topamax and I have decided to stick with it for a little while longer I do say that the migraines have gone from 3-4 a week down to 1-3 a week now and the fog has begun to lift a little now, I am not over the fatigue yet not the tingling in my feet or hands that was not there before starting it.  Before starting the steroids I had not appetite but last week I could have eaten everything in my home in one day!  That has died down now and I now do not feel like I can eat anything at all nothing sounds good or tastes good I can eat fish occasionally a small steak and fresh veggies and the worst part ice cream taste terrible!  At least I can eat a little of the healthy stuff. 

I did spend the weekend with my grandson it was such a nice and fun time and I now know the true joy of grandparenting: SENDING THEM HOME!  I even got to see my other two grandchildren today was so very nice.  I did overdo it a little this past week and found it to hard to go up the steps at my daugher's apartment today.  I do somehow feel better it is strange I just cannot put a finger on it but the other day I went to Target and was able to walk around the store quite alot without assistance I felt like a regular shopper but of course I always do when I go to pay!

I must say that after Don asking me to move in with him and to share so much and I thought to help raise his son, and not to mention the friendship we had built over the last few years and then his pulling in and not talking to me at all and we have both been there for each other through hard times it really hurts.  I can honestly say I have fallen in love with him and was so looking forward to sharing life together.  I am broken hearted now and I am going forward the best I can.  I now know I can work as long as it is close to home( one of the reasons I left the other job was to be close to home to be full time mom)  I am just taking it all one step at a time knowing I am able to love the right way again.  I have not given up on him and I but not dwelling on it all the time either.  I am just trying to remain happy and healthy for now.   I am a little nervous about the neurologist tomorrow anyway.