annieagain's Journal

Lately all I feel like I do is whine and sleep, I am now taking oral steroids and well at least I am eating some and I am finally getting my house organized.  Stephanie keeps asking me if I will need to buy a  container for everything and will I organiized the entire place, well yes I will!  She replies at least you are not wallpapering.  I now believe the flu is gone and the real problem is the topamax.  I went to the doctor and he told me to go to the nuero on monday and hopefully he will d/c it or he might increase it along with increasing the cymbalta.  I am depressed alot lately I have not energy I ache everywhere especially my legs and I cannot eat and stomach is upset, I do not feel myself, trouble finding words and some confusion dizzy and on and on.  This drug needs to go it has done nothing to prevent the headaches and I keep popping immitrex way to much.  The only trigger I know I have for headaches is bad cologne.  I kid you not I swear one day this dad came into the office I was working in and he was wearing High Kararte and blue plaid polyester pants.  Not to mention hairsprayed John Travolta hair, I am not sure if it was and olafactory assault or a visual one that brought on that headache, or flashbacks to the 70's.  I did start PT again today and they put these electro thingies on my back with heating pad and WOW my back felt great.  I think I could trade in the percocet for those treatments! 

I am trying to have an positive outlook about all that is going on and I know I will get it all to work out right.  I need to keep that attitude when my true whiny friend calls me.  First she complains about how I seem to get what ever medicine I want and she cannot, then about how low my co-payment is.  Then she carries on about how she is always in pain and yet she has to work and wishes she could have the option I have.  I do not even try to tell her it is not an option I have, I cannot explain to her about how hard it is some days to fix myself a meal mid-day I am in so much pain or so tired and I just cannot do it if I want to make dinner that evening, nor how to tell her that finding the energy to shower and head off to work would make work impossible.  She just likes to think she needs a medal and a round of appaulse because she works.  Well most days even if I am in pain I get up and I am mom limo-driver, house cleaner, and cook do laundry, shop and cook the meals all the while be a friend mom and grandmother.   Oh somedays wish I had the option to just go to work at a mimimal job and then shop and acquire all the credit cards in her husbands name and then bitch about having to pay property taxes that go towards the schools because I have no children.  I guess after looking at other people I do not feel so whiny any more.