annieagain's Journal

Well it is snowing and snowing here it was not supposed to be this much snow but here it is anyway!  I love it I can honestly say I feel alive today I do continue to hurt back especially and my feet are painful and my stomach continues to hurt but it is getting better.  After a few days of feeling so upset and trying not to sit around and worry, fret or even cry I decided to stop all of that and just go on with my life the way I want to and need to taking care of myself first and foremost.  I cannot be a good mother for Steph and Gary nor the others as they continue to grow and I need to and want a Grandma that is active for and involved in my grandchildren's life.   I worry about all of my children but I refuse to obsess about them anymore and will do what I can as long as they ask for my help.  Right now when it comes to my grandchildren I pray for them and hope that their mother steps up and becomes the good mother I know she is.

I did go to the doctor the other day and he wants blood after I fast for 12 hours.  I am not looking forward to driving in the morning without coffee I hope it is a quick and easy stick and I get out of there fast and head straight to Dunkin Donuts for their coffee.  The doctor did give me a script for Lovaza which is Omega 3 fatty acid 4000mg a day.  He is going to test my B-12 level to see if I could use the shots.  I asked him about a nerve block for the pain in my back which is a bulging disc causing my pain he dismissed it and wanted to wait for awhile.  I hate this waiting for anything currently waiting for the MS clinic in Milwaukee to call to give my an appointment.  

I am still exercising guess I need to update my goal, I used to exercise daily and it always made me feel more alive and better just like now exercising is so much better than anti-depressants for depression.   I am also going to start Melatonin and Ginko Bilboa to help with sleep and memory and alertness.

I decided today to go to Dollar Store Walgreens's and Jewel after going to the bank.  I got as far as the bank and the Family Dollar when I decided my foot was not to cooperative and Steph was in front seat growling for food.  She told me she needed Taco Bell,  yuck!  I told her no self-respecting CA girl would eat Taco Hell.  I got it for her and barely made it home.  I did get a ride out later then to Walgreen's and Jewel.  I had no problem walking in the snow covered parking lots I felt great finally.  I went from feeling terrible to feeling great in the snow with lots of energy, I just loved the snow, how wonderful it smelled and how crisp it felt outside.  I was tempted to make a snow angel tonight.  I finally feel great and I am learning to cope better with the pain and continuing to do what I want and need to do.