Eye5's Journal

3:00 AM - Just got done sitting up with Jason until he fell asleep.  When his vocal tics subsided, I knew he was finally, comletely, asleep.  Someone tell me, how do these kids cope with these tics - I'm at a loss to understand this.  Thinking of myself as needing to constantly tic vocally and/or physically would make me not want to go on anymore. And yet I need to stay so strong for Jason, to make him believe he has hope, he has a future. He wanted me to with with him tonite unti he fell asleep. He asked me what would he ever do if I died.  I told him we are all stronger than we think and that God would give him the strength to go on. I also told him that God won't take me away from him while he still needs me.  He told me he would jump off a bridge if anything ever happened to me.

It's so hard to try go make people understand what tourette's is. Jason supresses his tics tremendously while in public. It must be so grueling for him. Just to make my close girlfriends undertand what I'm talking about, sometimes when I'm on the phone with them at home, I will hold the phone up while Jason is ticcing vocally so that they can hear him and understand what I mean. I only do this because I know they couldn't imagine it any other way, and I need them to understand, so that I can lean on them for support.  I'm so envious of other parents whose kids can lead normal, productive lives.  Like my 16 year old, Cory. I thank God everyday he doesn't have to live like his brother.