pkukid's Journal

Well, what can I say ? Better? same? worse? That depends on so many things. I think generally, I'm better but still having huse problems outside because I    decided to 86 the mask, I just felt so self conscience!!! I tried really hard not too but people just don't get it!!! They don't have any problems so when someone like me comes by with huge problems wearing a mask they wonder why and they stare and it really makes me feel like a freak!!! I sit around on all these beautiful sunny days wishing I could go out and do something!!!! anything!!!! I have 14 things that trigger my asthma/allergies... I simply can't avoid all of them so I do what I can do

( and wish I could do more) I hate being such a wimp... before the asthma I was REALLY active even when I started to have some problems. Even when I found out what it was I still did stuff I just did buttloads of inhaler(3-5x a day) Now I'm forced to face the reality that I simply can't do some things.  I'm already having to start completely over with all my physical activity and it stinks!!!!! It makes me feel old and weak and I don't want to be!!!! I'm hoping allergy shots will help with this but I just don't know anything until I know it... still trying to find out if shots are covered by medicare/medicaid... I have too much time to think... if i could do more and stay really busy I wouldn't think so much and wouldn't get depressed when I ponder where I was and   where I am... just seems 50,000 giant steps backward. For now I'm breathing better( inside ) and meds work well so I can't really figure out why outside it such a huge problem?????