pkukid's Journal

Journal Entry for May 2, 2008 Mood

Friday, May 2, 2008

I'm so upset I just want to cry like a baby( cause that's what I feel like) I tried to go outside today and the tree and grass pollen was so bad I couldn't go out without a mask. I got my disability check and had to go to the bank to cash it( wearing the mask) I've just about gotten to the point that I really don't care if people look at me weird-I'd rather breathe. My roommate is disabled because of serious back problems and she relies on me to do stuff for her( although I don't know why) because now I can't even enjoy the nice , beautiful spring day because I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!!!! It just seems so unfair, I can't do anything!!!!! She can't do anything , MY doctors either can't or won't do anything anf I'm am just so far beyond aggrevated and frustrated that you just can't begin to know!!!!!I'm tired of being fat and I can't do anything about it!!! because I can't exercise... I'm 48 and I feel 84!!!!!!! I've spent the bigger part of 2 weeks inside my house for all or most of the day because I can't breathe outside and I just hate it!!!!!! I've decided I'm going outside and I'm doing what I need/ have to do even if it means wearing a mask to be able to breathe!!!! I'm OK inside but open the door and step out for even 5 minutes and I'm coughing and struggling to breathe.; I woke up with a headache that is gone now but I feel like #@$% and I'm tired of always feeling bad all day everyday. I did my inhaler 5x last week I think mostly because of outside triggers . My nights are OK ( i'm guessing that's because I do symbicort and singulair before I go to bed) and it helps my nighttime asthma . The daytime kicks my butt!!! can't quite figure out why because when I do go out I don't have allergy symptoms , so i figure meds are taking care of that ( no sneezing , runny nose itchy eyes) but I do cough can't breathe and wheeze... I don't know what else to do. I take all my meds and I'm now on the higher dose of symbicort??????

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Comments

Days like that are the worst. I wish I could offer more than just an e-hug.

raebo930
sorry your having such a rough time. it is really tricky to get asthma completly under control and when you feel bad with it makes you feel even worse. i can only suggest to go to your dr and speakto him. you may need somemore meds or allergy shots to get you throgh this period. it is most likly to be allergy problems that are making you wheeze although you say that your allergy sysmtoms arent there but wheezying is sign of allergy. whenmy brina ismore switched on i will reply in more detail.
olive

olive86