TimothyC's Journal

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

If you skip any, you have to read the last one!  Unbelievable, but
supposedly all true!!!!


Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:  A white one...

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Customer:  Hi, this is Celine.  I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:  That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:  No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?

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Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:  Hello... I can't print.
Tech support:  Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates.

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Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.  Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer
still says he can't find it...

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Customer:  I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:  Aaaah....................thank you.

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Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No.  I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer:  OK
Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in.  Is there
another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here.  Ah...that one does work...

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer:  Can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure.  I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars.

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Tech support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer:  I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears.

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Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least...

Tech support:  "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time.  That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen.  Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!