SurvivingThis's Journal

Well, I just wanted to update and let all know that I'm doing fine.  We haven't had any more phone calls.  The homefront is good.

I find that I'm on this site less and less.  I'm thinking that's a good thing.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know so no one will worry.

HUGS to all my friends!

Our couseling session was different.  As you can imagine from my last journal, I was ready to go.  I brought up the whole situation about me going with my friend to NYC.  I (and the therapist) could tell my H was getting upset.  The exuses he was giving for not wanting me to go were bullshit and he told him as much.  My H then says fine, we'll see how she feels when I do it.  The therapist says, she already said you could do things with friends, so why that comment.  It got pretty heated between the two of them while I just sat there.  The therapist ended by telling him the best gift he could give me would be to tell me to go and have fun.  And just to think about it.

When we left, I was sure he was upset.  But, he helped me down the stairs (remember, me and my back!) and we got in the car like everything was fine.  I told him I was glad he wasn't acting mad at me.  We didn't talk about it much, as I wanted to leave it alone and let him think.

Fast forward to the other night, I asked him, so, have you thought about me going to NYC.  He said I could go, that he can't stop me.  He didn't say it like he was mad.  He said it like he had resigned himself to the fact that I'm going to want to do things without him from time to time and he'd better get used to it.  So, as long as work permits, I'M GOING!!!!!!

It will be so much fun to just hang out and talk with her.  I miss her so much! 

Things at home are still going well.  He's been feeling better the last week or so physically and I can tell. 

I was looking at a Marriage Rebuilders website over the weekend.  Just as a joke, I asked him if he would be willing to go with me to a Marriage Rebuilders Weekend.  He said, it sounds emotional.  I told him that affairs are one thing, but this is more about rebuilding the marriage, making stronger connections, communicating in ways that benifit both partners.  I gave him an example and he loved it!!!  In fact, he's already put it into action.  So last night, after a really long day at work, he gave me a massage.  It was just supposed to be my back, but he ended up doing my whole body.  It was soooo nice after a stressful day.

So things are really getting better.  I'm glad that I can do my day with my friend and that it didn't turn into a huge fight.  I didn't let him take control.  I made it clear that this is an issue and we will have to work on it.  At that point, I think he realized it wasn't worth it.  And I'm glad he did!