Rabbit11's Journal

So as you may realize I'm back from camp! The session was filled with a lot of crazy stuff!!! My brother was sent home on the third day and those days were extremely stressful! I was being accused of smoking at camp, which the staff were saying behind my back!! Why would I do that at camp?!!!!! :( Then the staff were not communicating, which made it even more stressful!! I was hit in the butt with a towel by a guy counselor who made sound effects. He would rub my shoulders, high five me out of nowhere, grab my legs while swimming, and would tell me and another staff member when he would take a shower. Some of those sent me into a panic attack!!! He was fired on the last day (day that we left).

Now I get home and I find out that my teacher's mother passed away on Thursday, which made me cry. Even though I only met her twice, I've gotten to know her through stories. It also hurts to know he is hurting. On that same day my friend from camp got a call there saying his sister's baby passed away while in birth.

Now, I just found out that my brother who has Autism might go to a group home. I'm having a really hard time with that. I wouldn't be okay with waking up and not hearing or seeing him. I could go on about this one!

Y'all I'm soooo upset right now. I have a ton of food and I know where the knifes are at and I have a ton of pills in my room. The only reason why I don't want to cut is because of the promises and that I would have to restart on healing. *cries*