LacyMary's Journal

I'm Angry

Bob’s eldest offspring called last night. I told him his father was still in the geropsych unit in the hospital. I also told him that the nursing home might not be able to take Bob back due to his still uncontrollable behavior. I tried to explain that Bob may be transferred to a state run facility for dementia patients who have behaviors that can no longer be handled by nursing homes. He totally ignored this information and continued to talk about when Bob gets back to the nursing home. He sounded disturbed at me, which may be just my overly sensitive state. I’ve always felt that Bob’s offspring blame me for his condition. They do blame me for “putting him away.” They’ve wanted him cared for at home and not in the nursing home from the start. Only 2 weeks ago the eldest offspring was still talking about getting Bob out of the nursing home and hiring home health care.
Next time he mentions Bob moving back home I will tell him again that I will not bring Bob back here. I’ve made a list of all the things he will have to do to make arrangements for Bob to go live with him, his wife and 3 kids. And he will have to pay for the 24/7 home health care. I will explain that not even the trained staff at the nursing home can handle Bob so good luck finding an agency willing to take him on.
He just doesn’t get it. He hasn’t seen his father since March and I told him Bob has gotten much worse since then. He and his brother will be in Asheville next week so they will be able to see for themselves. Probably the 2 sisters will come, too. They think they will be staying with me but that’s NOT going to happen, I do not trust them. They feel entitled to stay in their dad’s house, they don’t consider it my house. I still don’t have the guts to tell them outright that they are not welcome so I’m going to tell them I already have plans, family is going to be staying with me that weekend.